A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my boyfriend for more than seven years. We started out as really close friends in college. It's not a perfect relationshp but I'd say we're really both happy. It's near perfect until two years ago, he quit his job. Probably, that's the reason why he's usually grumpy and easily gets hot headed. I understood him and still trying to understand, advising him it might be better to try get a job so we could push through with our plans.. like getting married in the next two years but oftentimes, it is very difficult because he suddenly gets irritated. I know he's feeling down but I'm having a hard time too..wih the situation. I don't wanna leave him co'z besides knowing that I'm the only person who seems to understand and support him at his current situation ( and he also told me that), I love him and dont want to give him more reason to feel worse.. There are moments I also feel lost and so sad but it's not just possible to have a talk with him..I remember, I told him once how I'm feeling about what's happening on how I'm feeling and how it's hard on my part too but didn't get any reaction. I just probably need some advise in any way you can, because right now, I no longer know what to think or feel.. I just feel so alone and I'm starting to even pity myself. Most of my friends are our common friends.. I wouldn't want to open up with them as I know they already are talking about him.. What am I supposed to do? And what more can I do? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks, guess I really need to think about it again..very well.
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (5 June 2009):
After 7 years you are going to miss him like hell, not because you love him but because he has been part of your life for so long.
Just because you care deeply for him, doesn't mean you are in love with him.
Do some serious thinking.
It is not shallow to expect some romance and thought from your boyfriend.
Think about how you really feel with him and what is best for you, Not him.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi Emily! Thanks for sharing your thoughts and for the time as well. You know.. I've been thinking of leaving him but then, I'm not sure if I can ever do it.. if I can bear the fact that we will be living separate lives.. There are times that I feel really tired of what I have to go through with him but then, he's not completely a bad bf. When I was sick he was always there in my apartment to tend to me too.. my family lives in the province and I'm staying in the city to work.. I feel like he's just really the one family I have here. I just terribly miss the person I fell in love with..and fell in love with me. It may seem shallow but I miss him sending me flowers, giving me little surprises, which he often do before.. But the most that I miss is that person whom I can talk to about absolutely everything, who always seemed to care on how i feel and who always made me feel like I'm a woman.. If you think about it twice.. do you still feel that it's hopeless anymore and I should just really leave?
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (5 June 2009):
If it's been 2 YEARS of you trying to help him and support him and putting up with him being a rubbish boyfriend... then sweetheart you have done everything you could do and more.
You being there and suffering is obviously not helping him so my advice is to leave him.
He needs a kick up the arse.
If you leave then he will realise what he has put you through and how him not working has cost him the woman of his dreams.
If you tell him that you love him but cannot be with him like this any more then he may just get his life in order and get a job.
You have done all you can here and there is no point sacrificing yourself for love when you are not getting the love back.
Good Luck!! xx
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