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Been together for 3 years and boyfriend STILL isn't divorced!

Tagged as: Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (10 March 2012) 1 Answers - (Newest, 10 March 2012)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I started dating this man three years ago, he is the best man I have ever been with. He makes me feel beautiful, loved, and important. The only problem is, he's married, well, really he's seperated. He's been trying to divorce his wife since a couple months before we got together. I will say for the record, I was not the reason for the divorce, I didn't even really know him when his wife left him. We have been living together, he helps me take care of my daughter (who I have with my ex husband) and he is SO good to her. I moved to a different state with him because of his job, and I'm starting to get antsy because he hasn't talked to his lawyer in a LONG time about getting the divorce over with once and for all (his wife is trying to take him to the cleaners). We got in a HUGE argument about it last night, because I got mad and aggrivated that he won't even mention it to his lawyer! He then said it was none of my business, and I shouldn't care because it doesn't affect me on a daily basis! I told him "Yes, it doesn affect me on a daily basis, because I think about it everyday"!

So my question is, do you think its worth waiting it out, or should I just give up? I love this man more than I have ever loved any other man in my whole life, and I know he loves me, but I don't know how much longer I can take this....

View related questions: divorce, my ex

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A reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2012):

There are so many details that are missing in this post which may be because you don't know all the facts. Was it an acrimonious split between him and his wife? Are there children involved? Are there regular hearings that he attends? Is there a lot of matrimonial property involved? Are there religious views that are making him think twice about divorce There may be many reasons why it is taking so long, altough I have to admit 3 years is a long time.

Divorce as you know is very very stressful even if you hate your ex. It makes you feel like a failure on so many levels and brings up emotions that would make most of us run a mile. This is probably why he doesn't want to talk about it.

I would suggest that you try and talk to him about it in a non-confrontational way. If he doesn't want to talk about it and it is important to you, then you either have to decide that it is his business and let him deal with it in his own time or re-evaluate your future with him. It sounds like you love him a lot and I don't think this is a good enough reason to walk away from him.

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