A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Dear CupidI've been talking to this guy for a month. I met him on an advice site. We hit it off right away sharing a lot in common with couple contrasts. We talk at least 4 out of 7 days. I kind like talking to him but too early to call it a crush or love. He deals with marketing and stocks so he works from 9 to 7 sometimes later. He goes gym, coaches a children team and goes to church sessions so I understand that most times he is booked with a lot of work. However, last week and this week he hasn't talked to me in 3 days.I know I don't own him nor do I want to seem clingy or desperate but his excuses is always that he was busy helping someone in need and then I always find him on the so call site that we met on. Its like he would keep off his phone for 3 days but then I look on the site and it says he has been last seen 20 mins or an hour ago.Do you think he is testing me ?? Am I controlling or should I just keep calm and accept this as a regular thing??
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2015): No, you didn't mention he said he put the question of being in a relationship with you. You should find that weird.
You have to meet a person before considering a relationship with them. You really don't know him; and you need to meet him yourself, and become acquainted before he meets your parents.
Lots of people online say they're looking for relationships. That doesn't mean they have made-up their minds and know you, without even meeting you. Not much can be based on conversations; you have to evaluate a guy on a few dates, in real-time. You have to observe all phases of his emotions (including anger) and see his behavior in action. He has to demonstrate he's the guy he portrays himself to be online.
Meet publicly in a safe an spot, and make sure all your family and friends know when and where. Use common-sense and protect yourself.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2015): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionDid I mention that he first put the question of being in a relationship with me? Also he wants to meet my parents
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A
female
reader, jlheinemann  +, writes (8 November 2015):
It seems that you are already developing some feelings for this man, even though you haven't met him. He doesn't seem to be on the same page as you. It is really too early to be having expectations of him since you have only been chatting on line. Give it time. If he contacts you again, let things grow naturally over time. Maybe it will actually develop into a relationship over time.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2015): No he's not testing you. He isn't committed to you, you're not dating, and you're just chatting over the phone getting to know each other.
You are expecting him to give you attention like he has some obligation to do so. He doesn't. He likes helping people. Like I do. My boyfriend brings his laptop over and goes over his books and draws up plans for his business. I sit here helping folks like you. Sometimes he has responsibilities that keep him tied up for days, and he doesn't owe me any explanations; and I don't fret because sometimes things don't work like clockwork. He also has a life. He has friends and other responsibilities. So do I.
Be patient and understanding. If you see him on line helping people, that's what he likes to do. You're not his girlfriend, and you're behaving like he's cheating on you.
So he was online, so what? Does he need permission, and does he have to spend all his time chatting with you?
If you've never met, you may be becoming a little too attached too soon. You say you aren't, but you are getting attached. He hasn't asked you out, so he may only like friendly conversations with you. If you feel he's leading you on, just don't pickup the phone next time he does call.
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