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Been seeing her for 4 months but I can't trust her! Will we make it?

Tagged as: Dating, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (23 May 2007) 4 Answers - (Newest, 24 May 2007)
A male United Kingdom age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I have been seeing this girl for about 4 months now and we both have said we love each other. Problem i have is im not sure i trust her. i know this is MY problem but i know she has slept with a few of my mates in the past.however,she was dating them, only 1 i think was a fling.I cant seme to get over that fact and i as i am an insecure person away and she is a very private person, its been driving me mad. she has a young child and is in contact with the father often, he even drove them to see her family and stayed the night. i wasnt too happy about that but its good for the child i guess. does there seem to be a future in this? my family and friends have all told me no!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2007):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

thanks for the advise guys. we have both decided we are going to leave it to be honest. think its for the best. if it wasnt working after few months then couldnt really see it working for long.escpeically as a lot of my friends and family told me she wasnt right for me and even a few of her mates told me im too good for her(not blowing my own trumpet) but that should tell me something. i wanted it to work but guess its best left as she put it.

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A female reader, AskEve United Kingdom +, writes (24 May 2007):

AskEve agony auntWhat you need to find out is, when she slept with your mates, was she seeing someone else at the same time? If she was loyal to them then she'll more than likely be loyal to you too.

The best thing to do is to slow things down a bit, pull back from her a little and see what happens. If she's really keen on you she'll chase, if she's not keen then it won't bother her, you pulling away. You are just a bit insecure so guard your heart a little and don't give her all of it, at least not until you can be sure she's absolutely crazy on you and shows this by her actions.

Eve

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A male reader, DV1 United States +, writes (23 May 2007):

DV1 agony auntAs long as there is no funny business going on, you have nothing to be worried about. You have to consider that they want to protect their child from any negativity that the may hold towards each other.

DV1

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A female reader, gem111 United Kingdom +, writes (23 May 2007):

I am in a similar situation as your girlfriend, i have split from my childrens dad but we are good friends for the kids sake and there is honestly no feelings there for him in a sexual way. My ex would do this sort of thing for me without question but i do think it would be because he still holds a torch for me which may be the case with your girlfriends ex. I do think you can trust her because they have obviously split for a good reason and they are obviously doing the right thing for the child also if the split is only quite new like less than a year then your ex will still be adjusting to life without her ex even if she now has no feelings for him. Things are always complicated when kids are involved you only need to worry if your girlfriend gives you good reason to be suspicious. I am speaking from a little experience here so hope it helps and i do think you can trust your girlfriend from what you have said and always remember past relationships is the past

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