A
female
age
51-59,
*sgirlsgo
writes:I have just discovered that my girlfriend of 3 years dumped me in april and then started seeing a new guy who she met in feb at uni within a couple of weeks. the problem is not so much that she has moved on so quickly although that hurts but the level of deception for the past 5 months. She told me that I was her best friend and that she wanted me in her life since I was dumped and even gave me false hope that we could get back together. I have held onto this hope and it was only last week that she told me that she had been for dinner a couple of times with this guy, now I have been told that she has been seeing him since April and I feel really lied to and hurt. The problem was that throughout these 5 months I have been told that I am jealous on one occasion and they were just friends, no one liked her that way other than me, they both had to much going on in their lifes to be in a relationship. I have also been telling her how much I loved her, missed her and wanted to get back in a good place with her and see where life takes us again and she sat and agreed. I now feel it's just been consistant lies. for example when I have asked if she has spoken to any of her uni friends, I was simply showing an interest and that I wasn't jealous about this guy and I was told no she had not spoken to them nor seen any of them. I cant understand why if they say they still love me and want me as such a good friend to hang around with because they love my company why you would not want to be more honest, or are they not the person I thought they were. We committed to spending our lifes together last sept, alls I wanted is for her to be happy now and if she had met someone else to have just been honest. Now I just feel that i didn't really know the real person and our realtionship was a sham if she could move on so quickly
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (18 June 2013):
 I think you need closure on this. Talk to her and be honest with her, tell her what you have heard and ask her for the truth. Tell her you are not jealous and that you are not wanting to cause trouble that you simply just want to know the truth so that you can get closure and move forward. It sounds like you have not accepted this break up and you feel you will both get back together but this might not be the case for her and she is just lying to keep you happy. I think you may need to start accepting that this relationship is over and move on with your life.
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