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anonymous
writes: I'm seeing a guy, and we're keeping it secret. It's making it extremely hard to get alone time. I have been thinking that yes I really like him, but if I tried to end it, he'd be horrible, because he is to everyone... very arrogant, but is lovely towards me at the moment. I also have feelings for someone else who I would be in a public relationship with, and he'd treat me like a queen. I'd love to stay with who I'm currently seeing, but I don't know how much longer I can cope with not being able to be as touchy feely as I naturally am. What should I do!? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2005): It's secret for stupid reasons. As there has just recently been a lot of trouble due to its secrecy. Reasons like "once people know it's out of our hands, people can interfere"He just says arrogant things to people. Is very blunt with things he says. I know he really likes me, as I do with him, but what if he starts doing this to me? He's perfect towards me. I do really like him. I'm just taking things slowly with him, as we aren't really up for anything serious, but dont want to see anyone else. I'm still not sure though!
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female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (28 April 2005):
 My first question is: why is it so important that this be kept a secret? Is it because he's just out of prison? Is it because he comes from a place/follows a religion/has a history that will cause other people to judge him? Is it because he's married or living with someone else? Is there a generation or more between you?No serious relationship can last for any length of time "under wraps", so if you're looking for something that will last, you'll have to admit that you're actually seeing each other, and cop it sweet, whatever the outcome is.My second question is: Having said that, why would you want to date someone who you have already described as "arrogant" and "horrible"? These, again, are not traits that you seek in a long-term relationship. I'm extremely concerned about the motives of a man who is "arrogant to everybody, but lovely to me at the moment". What happens if he decides to stop being "lovely"? You're left with an arrogant idiot who's nasty to everyone, including you. Sounds like fun. Not!I wouldn't waste any time in leaving this guy. He sounds lose-able for a ton of reasons. Free yourself up and ensure that, in future, you spend your time in the company of someone that a) makes you feel good about yourself, b) you don't have to tippy-toe around the moods of, and c) makes you proud of him.Good luck.
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