A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:I need some help!!! There is this guy I have recently met who I really like and he likes me back too! He asked me out on a date for next week and I said yes. However heres my problem...I dont think my mum will be happy. See my last relationship (which was my first) lasted about 9 months and my bf was abusive. My mum wont forgive herself for letting my go out with him without her really geting to know him first. She thnks if she would of gotten to know him earlier and his family that she would of been suss about it all in the first place. She also regrets giving me so much freedom with him. SHe feels if she would of been more strict with me i would not of ended up or stayed in such an abusive relationship for so long. I didnt tell my mum about the abuse til the last month of it, before I ended it. That was because i didnt realise it was asbuse.Anyway, despite being 18, my mum said she thinks I shoudlnt get another bf until I finish my university degree. And any guy I go out with shes going to be so strict with and will want to meet him before we even go out! I dont want her too though cause thats embarrasing. No ones parents these days meet the girls guy before they go out. Its not like my mum just wants me to introduce him either ( icould understnad that..) she wants me to full on let him sit down with her while she analyses him to death and sees what issues he may have. So I need some help. I know my mum only wnats to look out for me but I feel thats too much. I am willing to let her get to know him so she can give me her opnion on him but not just yet, I think she will scare him off if its too soon. What should I do?I cant just not let her meet him because she says if I want to live with her at home then I have to live by her rules. I cant afford to live out of home while Im at uni so I have no choice ti seems. Thanks! I realy appreciate any advice.
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female
reader, Vic07  +, writes (13 September 2007):
Your life isn't anything to do with your mam. Tell her how she makes you feel about the situation and maybe she will understand. Also not every lad is abusive i think you just had a bit of bad luck there. When your at uni and dating you wont even have to tell your mam. Good luck.
A
female
reader, war37 +, writes (13 September 2007):
Hi You are very grown up and understand how your mum feels thats a great start.I have 3 girls all 12 and under so I have this to come :O)Your mum's worried you will not do well at uni and understandably wants to make sure you get your qualifications and set out happy into a new life....BUT unfortunately life's not like that is it,your Mum really need someone close to you both to explain to her,your an adult you'll make mistakes and look how well you have done so far in your life?She has done a good job but she cant be your protector forever,she has to let go of her little girl and see that you are a women now.If your Mum doesnt see this she may lose you or you'll start sneaking around which is really unfair on you and it will put pressures in to your uni life?I feel maybe your mum just wants to see that you dont make mistakes but Im afraid we have to live our own lives and learn from our mistakes,I bet your 100% stronger since your breakup and now know the signs to look out for in a new guy hey?I think wait for a few more replies print all this off nad show your Mum,you are intiltied to a life and a love life and I think you have your head firmly and happily screwed onto your shoulders,feel blessed though your mum loves you dearly shes just scared for you xx
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