A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I think my b/f is going through a slight insecure phase because I have a high sex drive (usually want it more often than he does) and he tells me I am great at oral sex (the best he's ever had) and when we go out he thinks I look at other men. I do sometimes look around the bar or restaurant at all the people there; men, women, families - there's no one in particular that I'm looking at, just people in general. I try to always give him my undivided attention, tell him he looks sexy, and that I'm in love with him and only want to be with him and no one else, but he still seems to think I'm going to cheat on him if he's not in the mood for sex, or because I like giving head, I'll want to give it to other guys. I don't think I've given him any reason to be worried but I know he's older than I am (about 8 years) and some of his male friends sometimes tease me about being beautiful, or sexy and when we go places, I know I turn a few heads but I'm totally devoted to him. How do I help see this?....I can't imagine being with anyone else he totally does it for me, why can't he see that?
View related questions:
in the mood, insecure, oral sex, sex drive Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Royofthe Rovers +, writes (28 May 2007):
 It seems your beauty and self-confidence is causing him to be insecure in himself and how he sees you. I dont see this as you fault at all, you are who you are. As you have stated you dont give him any reason to feel this way so this stems from him and his insecurites.
He needs to be able to open up and trust you. Without this trust you will end up feeling neglected due to his low self-esteem and lack of intimacy. Share your confidence with him if you can, give him as much as possible. It sounds like you have been doing this already, but ultimately he needs to sort this out himself with your support.
He should be feeling proud by seeing someone like you and not doubting every second, this needs to change for both of your sakes and for the relationship to flourish the way you wish it to.
Let him know as much as you can about your intentions as you have already done and he needs to open up to you alot more and let you know how he feels and where his trust issues lie.
Communication is key, but also his willingness to trust you and believe that you are there for him and him only as you have said so openly.
R
A
male
reader, Uncle_J  +, writes (25 May 2007):
Must be something you're doing wrong to make him feel that uncomfortable. It's very possible that the way you are wouldn't bother other men but it's bothering him obviously. He doesn't like you looking around at people in bars? Stop looking then! What's so tough about this? If you really love the guy and only want to be with him for the rest of your life then take it by the balls and make it happen! And if you don't think that you should make sacrifices then you don't really want to make it work do you? Pride will get everyone in this modern age nowhere.
Avoid games if possible. Don't cut him off hoping the tables will turn. Once a game is started it really never ends...
Sit him down and talk from your heart with him, let your natural female emotions buy him to the fact that you are not a bad girl.
On the other hand, if you are a bad girl or have previously been known to him as one I suggest that you let the poor guy out of his misery and walk away now unless you plan to spend atleast 2 years proving yourself...
...............................
|
