A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I really need help with figuring out how to finger my girlfriend properly. She's tossed me off 2 times now all the way to orgasm and I still haven't fingered her to orgasm - am I doing something wrong? Is it harder to get girls to orgasm than boys? Also, do I need to break her hymen to reach her G-Spot? Or does it even exist, because people tell me it doesn't! I don't usually get to look what I'm doing down there, so I have no idea if I'm hitting the right spot or anything. My girlfriend is really quiet as well, so It makes it even harder as her reactions are harder to read. She doesn't shave, so it makes it even harder to feel what's what. Basically how do I finger her to orgasm? Do I go for the clitorus? (which I'm not even sure I've ever found) I've asked her about it but she is kind of shy on it and all she says is she likes it most when I go "deep"... can someone give me some "feeling" aids like what it's supposed to feel like down there rather than pictures or diagrams, because when I'm doing It I have my eyes closed because I'm kissing her. Her friend has told me that she might even try oral sex on ME next time and I still haven't even given her an orgasm yet! I can't make her orgasm no matter how hard I try and it's really hurting my self-esteem! Any tips or help would be so good!! Thanks :)
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aids , clitoris, g-spot, hymen, kissing, oral sex, orgasm, shy Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2008): Read past first sentence. Remember that condoms break, birth control pills fail miserably, pulling out is less than 30% successful, and oral sex transmits diseases. So, if you're giving a girl pleasure with your hands, make sure they're really clean first. You should have some low light, to see the clitoris. Make sure her eyes are closed. Brush your teeth and use mouthwash, then make your fingers really wet with spit. Have her lay down, spread her legs, and run your finger from the hole that's quite large upward, pressing lightly. You should feel a tiny bump as you go up, and hear a "breath" reaction in her case. Find it, and rub that bump. You might want to pull her lips apart slightly with one hand, then find the bump again, and rub it very lightly.
Read whole paragraph: When you put fingers inside, NO KISSING at the same time. Be squatting between her legs, and have your palm facing up, and insert two fingers you've made really wet with spit (pointer and middle fingers are longest). CLEAN HANDS NEEDED. When you have gone in as far as your fingers go, curl the fingers inside of her, in a "come here" motion described in the other post. If she says it feels strange, or makes her want to pee, tell her to relax a bunch, and just wait for a few more seconds. Straighten your fingers, and push up again. Think "I'm going to push her bellybutton up from the inside," but not too hard. Do this kind of slowly, and get a little bit faster. That's about it. If this doesn't work, her G-spot might not be capable of stimulation.
The clitoris on the outside definitely is. Never scratch it, as this can cause damage. Remember that the urethra (where pee comes out) is right by the bump, but the hole is MUCH too small to really feel.
Your girlfriend may be too young to feel things. You should watch out; having sex at an early age creates massive emotional problems in girls later on. I've never seen a girl who was not emotionally damaged in some way by having sex before being 18.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 March 2008): I am having the same type of problem with my girlfriend, I hope that everything works out for you, as I hope it does for me.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2007): okay your not messing up completly yes you heard her say i like it deep right well thats what you need to do go deep over and over and over and open your eyes so that you can see the expression on her face when it looks like shes enjoying it keep going intill she cant take the feeling anymore and then shell cum lol hopefully and if not shes hard to please and it might not just be you it could be her
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A
female
reader, Bunnygirl +, writes (16 July 2007):
 Firstly, please do not stress or think you are the only person to think you go through this. Secondly at a young age i can not possibly give advice on what do. It's illegal and to be honest i highly doubt you are ready. Sex isnt something to just get rid of. It's a personal private things that special and should be treasured. Third, dont listen to "what friends "say 1/2 the time it's exagerated anyway.The other aunts are right, what is wrong with cuddling and having fun together and enjoying being so young. Maybe whe you are both older and know eachother more and are closer the time witll be right then?Lastly, you will hopefully soon realise that sex isnt the be all and end all and there is nothing wrong with taking a stand and saying no!Good luck.
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A
female
reader, LynstHolin  +, writes (15 July 2007):
Here's a page that shows and explains all the equipment:
http://www.scarleteen.com/article/body/anatomy_pink_parts_female_sexual_anatomy
It doesn't mention the G-spot, though, which not all women have, apparently. Just concentrate on the other stuff for now.
If your girlfriend likes what you're doing, she will get wetter, and her labia will swell. At first, her clitoris will become erect, but as she gets more aroused, it make retract some into the body. Some women prefer the hood to be stroked, not the clit itself.
The nerves of the clitoris extend inside the body--stimulating the perineal (the 'taint') and anal area also can give her pleasure.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2007): For starters, you need to relax. You are both quite young so at this stage you are learning -it doesn't matter if you aren't the best in the world because practice makes perfect. When you are with your girlfriend get her to tell you what feels good. Ask her when you are doing it and stick with what works. It's hard to describe where the clitoris is, it's above the actual vaginal opening. And its like a sort of lump in the middle, between the outer flaps. It is very very sensitive, so you might want to try focusing there. Stroke it and ask your girlfriend if she likes it but make sure she is lubricated. if she likes it more when you go "deep" then do that more often. the area just inside the vagina is supposedly very sensitive when the "come here" motion is used. (does that make sense?, when you beckon someone to come to you by crooking your finger?) I hope this makes sense and I hope I haven't offended anyone if I was too graphic. Good luck xxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2007): You are too young to be this sexually active....this can only lead to an unwanted pregnancy, you are not mature enough or responsible enough to understand the repercussions of having sex at your young age....don't do it, you are ruining your girlfriend's life.
Are you willing to stick around and financially support a child? Are you able too? Of course not, try masturbation insted and recommend it to your girlfriend....I am dead serious.
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A
female
reader, cuddlyserenity +, writes (14 July 2007):
 you dont!!!!go back to playing with your lego or whatever games you play at your age and forget about sexually going anywhere near a girl till you a older.if you have a girlfriend, just kiss and cuddle. you have the rest of your lives to get used to being together.
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