A
male
age
41-50,
*onty
writes:Right guys please help me out I'm confused, frustrated and upset here and need some advice.I am a 24 year old male and have been dating a 21 year old girl for 3 and a half years before she decided to split up with me. The reason being she said I had made no commitment to her in all this time. I tried to explian I am one year off becoming qualified as a quantity surveyor and a house/engagement would kick on from there. However she was having none of it and has consequently ended our relationship. She is actually 21 at the end of the month and I have booked an all inclusive holiday for a week in Alcudia, of which she is aware of.I can't help but think that she is after someone else, because the reasoning behind ending the relationship does not stack up?I have always been faithful to her and always been honest. Do you think is it a commitment blunder from myself or do you think there is underlying motives on her part?Thanks for reading, any advice you have would be very much appreciated.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 July 2007): I have to say, that females are famous for tolerating a lot in a relationship, especially when they love a guy. It's our nature to nurture, for the most part. A woman's life gets so interwoven with the guy she loves, that nothing would cause her to simply just walk away. You are trying to find a reason. Well..something has happened, but you need to realize that you may never know that reason. From your posting, I can say you have done nothing wrong No one can tell you if it's another man or if it's her perception that you won't commit or if this 3 year relationship, has just simply run it's course. All we know, is her feelings for you have changed. So the reasons don't really matter, do they? Don’t bash yourself over the head..over this. You had a relationship..it didn't work. And she's not doing you any favors by continuing this relationship with you. She's freeing you to find the person you will learn to love again, another person you can possibly connect with, in your future. She doesn’t need to tell you anything more than that she doesn’t have those mutual feelings you have, which add up to givingness and mutual love. Respect her decision. Grieve this relationship and get on with life. Easier said than done..I know and I am sorry.
Like the poster said before me. You sound like a successful, smart young man with a good future. There will be more females vying for your attentions. You will find happiness once again. Believe that. It will just take time.
A
male
reader, Lovett  +, writes (14 July 2007):
Of course she has underlying motives. Women do not break up with boyfriends "on spec." 99% of the time they have another horse that if they haven't been riding, they have had out of the barn.
Do NOT chase after her. For gods' sake your 24 and about to become really financialy independant for the first time in your life. Women will flock to you like ravens to a carcus once you do. Be emotionaly, financialy, adult for perhaps the one and only time in your life. Sieze the day, go on that vacation with a female "friend" you know!!
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