A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i have been with my bf for 6 years now... i never belived in love at first sight till i met my bf now. i love him with all my heart we have 2 kds one is 3 and the other is 2. my bf says he loves me but he has anger issues he said its because his dad used to beat him and his siblings and mother. he has hit me before and i sent him to jail because thats what i felt he needed but im so lost because he said he loves me but tells me to get out every day. i am starting to lose alot of the love we have and im scared to be a single mom. i dont have a job or really a place to go what do i do? please i need advice... Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you all for your help...
A
female
reader, sheribaby38 +, writes (12 January 2009):
 sweetheart you are not alone. there are lots of woman just like you out there. theres a womans shelter in almost every city. my friend went to one and they got a restraining order on her man and got her into her own apartment and even helped her find a job. your b/f could start taking his anger out your children and then what are you going to do? dont make excuses for him because of what or how he was raised. he has no right putting his hands on you. your children are not safe. do it for those innocent babies that cannot defend themselves. do you want them to grow up in an abusive enviroment and turn out like him? no you do not! get some help from family or a shelter. do what you have to do and do it now before its to late.god bless you
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2009): I can understand why you still with this man, and I understand what your boyfriend is saying to, I a do not blame you for staying, I use to be in a similar situation, I am 22 and ive also been with my boyfriend for 6 year, his father use to beat his mom so bad that she ended up being hospitalized, and him and his brother use to get it to, but his father committed suicide when he was only 6, but the mother raised them believing that when you get angry your break things or scream, and one day we had an argument, and he smacked me, I felt paralyzed as I knew his families story and I didn’t want history to repeat itself through me, he explained everything to me and promised not to do it again, but just 2 months later it happened again, everyone told me to leave him but I couldn’t because I know what abuse can do to a good person, abuse ban turn the best person in the world into a murderer, no one can fully understand how an abused persons mind work because we all deal wit hit differently, I have him an ultimatum after packing my bags, I told him that I love him and I know he gets angry and that things happened which still affect him today but I wont stand for it, I told him he needs to go speak to someone, I left, at first he didn’t want to go thinking he is ok, but after about 3 days he went, he changed he learned how-to control that anger, how to deal with it when he wants to blow up, and his Doctor invited me to sit in on his sessions in order for me to understand my BF better. He has never ever lifted a hand at me again, and still thanks me today for what I did, I think people tend to give up to easily because they think that is the only way out, but if you could make him stop doing this to you wouldn’t you? I am not telling you to stay there with him, take your kids and go, but don’t just cast him out and call him a woman basher, give him the option of getting help, so he can become the man he use to be when you 1st met, and if he takes it, who knows what will happen, and if he doesn’t well angel then you know what you suppose to be doing, if you think he has the ability to change try and help,
I don’t know how others might react to this message but coz I understand this is what I would would’ve done
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (12 January 2009):
 I believe it's time for you to be safe. There are programs to assist you in getting on your feet. When you sent him to jail, you should have been set up with a victims advocate. They have the information to help you get work or training, housing, and whatever else you may need.
It can be scary to be a single parent. There are also many rewards to being one as well. Your kids happiness and knowing you have removed them from an abusive environment to a safe place. You'll be happier and you'll see your kids will also. You definitely need to get out of that home and be safe for you and your kids. No one deserves this treatment.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2009): Find a woman's shelter. He doesn't truly love you if he abuses you. He can make all of the excuses in the world, "I was beat, blah blah blah blah." There have been plenty of people who were beat who don't beat on others today.
Your mental sanity is at stake!
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