A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:After all this time im almost 19 and ive still never had a real girlfriend, every attempt has been littered with problems and complications that have only led me to pain. All girls have done is given large amounts of grief and emotional pain, thus i have a major amount of hesitancy talking to girls or trying to get to know them if i like them because of all my past failures. I mean every time ive tried to date someone ive gotten hurt their isn't a single acceptation to that in my life and it has left me wondering if im afraid to even fall in love ever again. After all of this i really have started to slowly loose hope as each next attempt leads to the same place, and i don't want to be their. My friends get dates all the time, the week my best friend dumped his gf of 3 years because of distance problems, he was dating a new girl when im always sitting alone and cant get started let alone replace a 3 year relationship in days. Im not ugly ive had a lot of girls like me looks wise and personality wise and they always think im really sweet and seem to like me but they always replace me with someone else before anything really starts and i get more bad memories to add to my life.I don't even care about sex, all i want is to have someone seem to actually care if i live or die and be their the next day with open arms. I feel like im alone in this god-forsaken place, my friends have tried to help but they always just get me hurt more. I don't know what to do anymore, if i try i fail if i don't i fail why even bother i lose and get hurt no matter what do. -Why cant i simply find someone who truly cares about me like my friends have, that doesn't have a boyfriend or a major personality problem, or something to stop us from forming a relationship. Do i not deserve that? It really feels like everything that can go wrong in my life has and does to me and not a single other person around me. I go to a restaurant and i get dirty plates and forks. I get stuff on my best clothes no matter what, my bad luck inst just in relationships. People have always said that things are darkest before dawn, so where is my dawn, when do i get to see the light that everyone else is.
View related questions:
best friend, talking to girls Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, kilts_and_scotts +, writes (24 August 2009):
your not the only one who has problems like this, all you can do in life is get back up and try again. Sure you could try and fail, but nothing ventured nothing gained.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni don't think i put an emphasis on finding happiness through another but it is just it seems like nothing gos smoothly for me even at the basic level. The most basic things in life right now become complex and give me a lot of stress and that would be come all the much easier to deal with if i just had someone to calm me when i do get stressed, to show me its alright. my parents have always taken care of me well but they have never really shown affection, so the only way i can get any is through someone else, and seeing others getting it about makes me sick because im so stressed and want it. I have actually found myself crying due to my stress levels, just spontaneously crying, im watching tv or playing a game and a song comes on that's sad or something and im gone. Im getting sick of being this stressed. Ive been this way for at least the last half a year and it got old a long time ago.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2009): i understand you man...i ask the same question every single day..im going through the same thing as you except that it might be 10 times worse and that im 5 years younger. ur not alone
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 July 2009): Try not to put so much emphasis on finding happiness through other people. I know this is probably an overused cliche, but happiness really must come from within. If you are feeling really desperate for someone to be with you and love you, that can come across, and it can scare people off a little, as it places a great pressure on them.
Surely there are some good things in your life? You mention your friends in your question. Well, isn't that a positive? You have friends. Some people out there really do have no one, not even a single friend. So you have that blessing already. Can you not think of anything else positive in your life, anything good you have going for you?
As for bad things happening to you-I have to agree with Samii on this one. If you are feeling so negative, then it can in fact just attract more negativity. So try to see things a bit more positively.
Also, if things aren't working out for you, you can try to change them. You don't have to accept things as they are. If you are unhappy with certain things in your life, you don't have to just think, "Well, that's it then." You can try to change things for the better.
Really, you can do anything you want to do. But you won't get very far until you start to believe and trust in yourself. The world isn't out to get you. Bad things happen to all of us. I mean, I had an awful morning today. But it's the way it goes. And as for your friends seeming to have it all...believe me, no matter how well someone may seem to be doing, no matter how "perfect" their lives may seem, everybody has problems, worries, troubles. These relationships your friends have, how do you know that there aren't problems in the relationships? I'm sure they, just like you, just like everyone for that matter, have their own doubts, insecurities and fears.
If life is challenging for you now, well, be strong and meet that challege. Don't give up. I can't guarantee that things will work out, that there will be a happy ever after. Nobody is guaranteed that. But just trying, just refusing to give up, to keep bettering yourself, can have an enormous positive impact on how we feel.
If you feel good within yourself, whatever may be happening in the outside world won't affect you as much. So don't give up, keep going. You are just as qualified and deserving as anyone else to have good things in life. Your current mindset isn't helping you to achieve them. So change it. Be positive, and go out there and claim all of the good things in life you deserve. x
...............................
|
