A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I dated someone for 3 years. We got engaged in 2010 and broke up this May. He is now 27 and has only had 2 partners in an 8 year period. He is very athletic, tall, handsome. But he had a lot of weird beliefs about sex. He claimed to have a porn addiction in high school and went to massage parlors (only twice adcording to him but idk). He then found religion and became a rigid Christian. Don't get me wrong, having morals and love for God is great, so I wasn't against it. But, he would force me to go to church when I had very bad memories about church as a kid. I feel like when I tried to get to know him, he wwould always change the subject. Especially during arguments, he would throw in God. He also would refuse to be intimate with me for a year. After that, he would try but couldn't maintain an erection. He claimed sex is only for marriage so I said, I can't wait years for sex. He proposed after 2 yrs and I asked him if he was sure. He said yes and so that's when I got into wedding mode and try to really get to know him. Soon, he became very rude, get annoyed when checking out wedding stuff but would never say he wasn't ready. He would still call me like crazy and want to know my every move. I finally told him he was smothering me. He hated my friends and ruined one friendship. For my birthday, I. Let my work friends take me out for only 2 hrs. He totally flipped that I had one drink. He then said, all this drama ends now! It has been 5 weeks and he didn't call again. I texted him asking to at least talk so maybe we could be friends or something. He ignored my text. I texted again a week later and he said the only way he would talk to me was in person at a public place and his male friend had to come. I was shocked! I asked why, he said he didn't want to be alone with me. I thought this was the dumbest thing I ever heard. Talk about dramatic. I never hit him or threatened him. I'm hurt, angry like hell, upset. What does someone do when this happens? Its like he's another person. Advice please
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male
reader, doublejack +, writes (13 July 2011):
I'll add another "just move on" vote. This guy changed, and not in a good way. It isn't your fault, so don't feel bad about it or put the blame on yourself. This guy is controlling, immature and possibly even deranged. He's not worth spending the effort to try to figure out. The two of you just aren't compatible. On the bright side, at least you have come to this realization before actually marrying him.
A
female
reader, VSAddict +, writes (13 July 2011):
 You should just move on. You've tried to talk and he won't listen so just leave it alone. He seems controlling and immature. He tried to force religion on you, he won't be honest with you, and he doesn't like you to be with your friends. Giant flags that you shouldn't be with him. It's a good thing you didn't marry him. Move on and find someone without these traits.
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