A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend is age 22, we have been friends for about two years and in a deepening emotional relationship since last february. So it has almost been a year since we started being intimiate. My question is is that i am 28 and he is 22 and we had a tift two weeks ago resulting in him moving out. I am older and have more relationship experience. I am his first real relationship. He has always been very dependable and helpful....i realize his need for his time which he has asked for. I believe he got overwelmed by being man of the house with all of lifes respnsibilities at 22. Such as me going to school he wants to support me,paying bills and we live with a female roommate who is a very nice girl. Sorry about the typos its very late night here and i am having a bout of insomnia. He recently told me he has personal issues to work on. He is lacking maturity, he wants a degree for a better job. He has anger issues that make him feel scared of hurting someone. So he says. Not denying truth or not. I am ready for a forward moving relationsip. Im nesting....i want to come home to the man i love and wake up beside him. I want to cook dinner and spend time together. I feel like he killed something in the trust aspect of our relationship. It was five nights before i had to beg him to spend the night so i can have one night of my own emotional comfort from him. He actually left and then came back 30 minures later realizing i needed him here. I feel whatever i felt for him is fading.... I no longer trust unwaveringly in him. While i am willing to give him time.... I am not willing to wait 9 months to a year for him to process himself....Any sound advice or experience?Appreciated thanks.
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female
reader, Red591 +, writes (19 December 2010):
 He may be too young. I know people mature at different ages but he sound like he still needs to sow some wild oats and that could take a while. I would ask him whAt his Plans are for the future. Ur gut is also pretty reliable so listen to it
A
female
reader, marcia99116 +, writes (19 December 2010):
 I agree with you - he is not ready for the same experience you are. He needs time to grow up and work on himself before he settles down. Although none of us are perfect I feel there is a disconnect between your expectations, experience and desires and his desires, experience and expectations.
You have probably taught him alot as he has taught you about yourself. I say tell him that you still find an interest in him but you do not want to put your life on hold while he is pondering what he wants. He needs to decide now what he wants and if he cannot then he needs to understand that you do not know how long it will take him to find his answers and that you are not sure if those answers factor you in.
You are ready to get serious in your life and are probable at the point of thinking about a family. If he is not ready for those things then you need to seek someone who is and if he decides he is ready... then he can wait and see what is going on in your life. To see if you still hold a spark for him or a pleasant memory.
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