A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:DearCupid,I got back with my ex (whom was my first time) few weeks ago. We live in different cities and we decided to give it a go again, seeing that by the middle of next year I will be moving to his city because of a work transfer. The only problem is that I dont know how to tell him (or if I even should tell him) that I am not ready to be sexually active again. I'v had a boyfreind after we broke and we did have sex too. But the other day, when him and I made love I felt distant and cold. It wasn't the feeling I remembered when we made love. Should I tell him about this?Should I wait until I see him again or just try and avoid moments that might get us in that situation?THANK YOU!!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, StrayTogether.com +, writes (11 August 2010):
 If you try to just avoid those moments, in my opinion, if he's even a little intuitive, he'll sense that something is amiss. And, unfortunately, some of us are quite capable of imagining things far worse than reality.
It sounds to me like it would be the best interest of the relationship, especially if you want this to be a long-term relationship, to tell him how you're feeling. Perhaps let him know that you'd like to feel closer emotionally before you bring the physical part of the relationship back. It's quite common for women to want that part before they jump into bed with a partner.
Fondly,
jill
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