A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:Back with my ex after 2 years. I split with my ex for 2 years in that time I had a relationship with some guy that didn't work out, after it finsihed my ex who I had been with for 15 years said he wanted me back, I said I'd need time to think, it wasn't long and I said ok let's give it a go, but he turned round and said too late, he had found someone else and wanted to be with her, this hurt badly and I became ill and was on depression tablets for some time.Anyway they saw one another for about six months, but all this time the women told me there was nothing going on and they were just friends, he wanted more but she didn't. After this time he realised and said he wanted to be back with me again, I don't know what it was, if I was on a low or what, but I said ok, things were great and we moved in together 2 months later. We have been back together now 9 months, things are not good and have slipped back into the old ways, he doesn't seem to bother as long as he isn't on his own, but I'm not happy and wish I could go back to living on my own. I have no time for myself, he is very clingy and in your face, he has no friends and his family live far away, I don't know what to do. I tried talking to him but he doesn't understand. He doesn't work and just goes down the gym or watches TV 24/7, this is not a life I want. We are both 45.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2008): You have been honourable and done your best but you have simply got to change this. It is surely empowering to know you are happier on your own. Now is NOT the time to feel sorry for this man - a man who left you once. Decide what YOU want and grab this chance in your life for freedom. I am in your shoes right now and I was on my own for 2 years so I know precisely what you are feeling. We try. We make allowances. We live in hope things change and the disappointment when it doesn't is so hard to take. Accept this was the chance and it has not worked so you can at least now know 100% it was not right - there is no more doubt.
A
female
reader, sarcy24 +, writes (28 November 2008):
 Hi there,
I was married for 14 years and my husband wasn't happy. He left and came backwards and forwards for about a year and although I was happy he felt he was living a lie. In the end he left for good and for him that was the best thing he could have done. It really really hurt me but he couldn't continue. If you feel that you have tried to make things work but it is all going back to exactly how it was before you broke up it is definitely time to leave. I am the same age as you and although it was awful being the one who was left you do get over it. Sit him down and talk to him and explain that things are not what you want them to be. If you still feel something give him the chance to put things right but if even after that it is not what you want then leave. As my ex husband said to me ' life is not a dress rehearsal'. It will be horrible and upsetting but he will get over it with a bit of time and however awful it is for the other person you need to do what it takes to make you feel good. All the best,
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