A
male
age
36-40,
*ukin4luv
writes:Hi there!I desperately need your help! I recently got divorced and I do not have much of dating/speed dating experience. I in now getting into this dating thing and have a first date today. I like this woman and she is few years older to me (I am in early 30s)...please suggest some conversation ideas. We have been talking on chat for couple of days now. What are the some good conversation and ice breakers. I have noticed that after initial conversation I am not left with much to talk about. I do not want to blow this away, and any suggestions on how to get the conversation going would be great.Thanks for your suggestions!
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male
reader, lukin4luv +, writes (11 June 2016):
lukin4luv is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYou guys are super awesome. Thank you each and everyone of you. I am really excited and nervous. Hoping for a good time and making use of all of your advice.
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (11 June 2016):
 Here are a few ideas to get you started. (I've used them all, at one time or another, with varying degrees of success (and much failure!).....
1. I think I recognize you. Didn't we go to different schools together?
2. How 'bout them (Sox, Yanks, Mets, 49ers... some team name)?????
3. WHEN is this weather going to break? (If the weather has been crappy, OR:).... How about this great weather. Kinda makes you want to take a picnic... Waddaya say????
4. Have you ever seen the submarine races from Makeout Point?
5. If you speak with my ex-wife, she's likely to tell you that I'm a jerk.... but what does SHE know????
If these don't work.... let me know, and I'll share with you my "Ultra-hot" breakout lines...
Good luck...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2016): If you are having a dinner party, which ten people would you like to be there? Who would you like to meet most, living or dead?
If you were a superhero, which superhero power would you like most to have? Why
If you could go back and do it again, how would you like to spend your last year in school?
When was the last time you laughed so hard you cried? And what was it you were laughing about?
what is your first childhood memory?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2016): What do you like to do? What do you like to read? What movies do you like to watch? What are the things that make you lose track of time? What have you done in the past? What do you hope for the future? Do you have children? Do you have family?
What are your pet peeves? What are your favorite things? What foods do you like to eat? Do you have any special dishes you can make? Are you an expert in anything?
I've always found the study of XYZ fascinating, have you something you find fascinating? What are you most proud of? What was the most special day in your life? What do you hope to go back and do again? What do you hope to do for the first time? What are the first five things on your bucket list?
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (11 June 2016):
 Do's:
Talk about hobbies, things you enjoy, things you would like to try (non-sexual of course), movies, music, museums, travel, food, books.
Don'ts: DO NOT talk divorce in detail. DO NOT talk about exes, Avoid smack-talk about an ex or anyone around you. IF you have kids, do go in to "superdad-mode" and brag about your child - you can mention the child but it should be a BIG topic (yet) don't talk about people at the venue (as in LOOK at that blond at the bar with the big... eye), stay off negative or sad/depressing issues. I mean who wants to be on a date with Eeyore? (be classy)
DO NOT text other people or check your phone constantly - it's rude. Unless you have a member of your family in the hospital and are getting updates, it's just a no-go (IMHO)
Keep it light. BE a good listener. If you know something on a subject she is talking about, DO NOT interrupt to give her your 2 cents til she is done. People often interrupt because they want to SHARE and ADD value, but... it's REALLY nice if you just listen and when she is DONE add your 2 cents.
Make her the focus on the night. Let's say you have the hottest server who is being friendly and cute.... well, be polite but don't engage in friendly banter or flirting in front of a date.. it's rude.
DO NOT wait 3 days to call her after the date. You could suggest that she texts you when she gets home safe, because it's a caring thing to do. And when she DOES send you that text you thank her for the evening if it was great and ask her if it's OK to call/text her tomorrow.
And don't forget, let her pick some subjects too. If it's something you know nothing about, ask questions, don't be afraid to admit you know nothing about (example jewelry making or welding or whatever she brings up).
Last but not least DO NOT be afraid of little pauses or silences, they ARE OK.
ENJOY your date.
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A
female
reader, singinbluebird +, writes (11 June 2016):
 Just be the best version of yourself, even if you lose conversation topics just try to smile and arch eyebrows and make her laugh.When Im on date with guys, the best ones are always the one where the guy isnt always being funny or extremely talkative. But I enjoy men who talks about his passions, joys, loves, showing a bit of moral side and then discusses some silly topics to serious (fav movies, childhood crushes, dream job to societal issues discussed with compassion) and then he listens as wellDont worry, just make sure to meet a few other women for more dating experience. Focus on fun, connection, even tho there are some silences, just make sure its a smiling connected silence
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