A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:IS HE CHEATING?My boyfriend used to take me to Las vegas everytime he travels for work.. wERE supposed to stay again last month but then he cancelled and just dicided to come home every weekend.(we live together) Its been going on like this for a month now. I ask him if I could go with him on valenties day so we could be together on that occasion. (call me romatic) but he freaks out and said.. "no you are not going"! it just sends out red flag on me... and I ask him are you being faithful.. w/c he gets really upset and told me "if I think he is screwing woman in vegas and I cnt trust him then just forget about this relationship..." i DECIDED TO JUST Trust but I have my doubts.. please help... he said hes Vegas work will continue for the next 3 wks.. after that it will wind down... thanks everyone Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Honest Answer +, writes (8 February 2012):
 I have a feeling that you already know the answer to this question. The super defensive answer, made up my mind.
Good Luck!
Jeff
A
male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (8 February 2012):
 Usually guys who get defensive such as the way he acted -- especially about Las Vegas -- tend to be hiding something. Perhaps he hopes to get lucky out there or he enjoys going to strip clubs. Adults sort of lose all inhibition in Las Vegas and there are plenty of people that hook-up out there.
While there isn't any way to say for sure whether your boyfriend is cheating on you, it does strike me as odd that he wouldn't want to at least take you for Valentine's Day.
At this point, I think you should take an assessment on whether this man is truly the one you can trust and work out your differences with. An honest and forthright man who is accused or cheating by his girlfriend / wife, will do whatever it takes to set the situation right.
It sounds like you have some decisions to make.
Good luck.
...............................
A
female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (8 February 2012):
 I agree with the other aunts. I'm not a jealous woman, and I expect to trust my partner with no questions asked. But dramatic changes in behaviour, defensiveness for no reason, lack of explanation.... that's enough for me to know that something is terribly wrong. It may not be cheating, maybe he's a gambling addict, an alcoholic or maybe he acts like an idiot and people call him bad names in Vegas. Maybe it's the time he spends up dressing like a woman.
Whatever it is, either we talk or I walk. Not talking and not telling the truth is not an option.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2012): The reason he said that hE doesnt want to take me to vegas naymore is so I could finish the things that i need to do, like getting my drivers license.. etc.. plus he works night time- he NOW preferred to take me when he works regular morning hours. But he used to take me me before even if he works night time... and now things had changed. He also said he cant afford to take me to vegas every week. But I am not asking for him to do that, just this valentines day.. and he get so defensive and just freaked out... you think he will be dating someone on valentines? Im concerned that he might be... He always say that he is looking forward to seeing me every time he comes back home. and he is not talking to anyone on the phone especially at night time with anyone when were together... and he always buys me food/groceries before flying to vegas so for me that shows concern. Is it possible that he is getting frustrated with me because I always ask him if he is faithful? ITS JUST THAT EVERYTIME THERES CHANGES int he relationship it worries me... and he said its not a good thing to do. thanks veryone I really appreciate all your responses... we've been together for two yrs. and we have plans of moving to vegas(gods will) sooner..
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2012): If the work in Las Vegas is going to wynd down in three weeks then he, I assume, won't be going as much, if at all?
He came home for the weekends instead of going there when you asked to go,so he wasn't meeting somebody - maybe something has happened there before and he doesn't want you to find out, maybe not. You will have to trust him for now, it could be he just can't afford to take you, it could be he just wants to focus on work when there,could be he's under job pressure. There are many possibilities.
Look at the whole relationship, is there any other way he has shown you he doesn't care anymore or is feeling guilty ?
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2012): Hello thanks so much for posting your answer. I often ask him that if he is being a good boy.. and I guess he is tired of my questioning him all the time.. at first he would re assure me.. but lately he just gets upset.. I think I have trust issue.. or maybe I have intuition.. I dnt know... but he said he doesn apprciate being questioned about his loyalty... he is in vegas to work & not screw othe rwoman.. I shouldnt have even asked if he is faithful.. I should just know... so I dnt know why I always feel like he is lying to me... maybe I just dnt know how to trust....
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2012): Yes, I do believe he is cheating. That kind of reaction says it all. Leave the relationship before it gets too serious. :(
...............................
A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (7 February 2012):
 When something quite defined changes in a relationship and there is no obvious reason or explaination then it's probably true to say that something is going on but it may not be about cheating. Maybe its a financial decision and he is embarrassed to tell you. The only thing that kinda blows the lid of is his reaction when you accused him. He basically invited you to end the relationship instead of rushing to reassure you that all is well...hmmm why did he do that?
Only you know how the relationship is really going. If things haven't been great or there have been arguments, is it possible he is looking for a way out.
In my experience, guys usually set up the reason and rely on the woman to make the final blow.
...............................
A
male
reader, dougbcoll +, writes (7 February 2012):
 (is he cheating on me with a woman in vegas .) maybe. something has changed if he use to take you with him, and all of a sudden no trips. have you ask him why he does not want you to go? it sounds like he gets on the defensive side when you ask if he is being faithful.
...............................
|
