A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello agony aunts thank you for always answering my questions and helping me with my problems. I am here today because I have an issue with my boyfriend of almost 2 years. He tells me he has a bad habit of jacking off before he sees me. And so when hes with me we don't have sex...don't feel like its unfair how whenever he wants it im there and i give it to him. But he does not do the same..and it makes me feel like he doesn't feel attracted to me. And when i bring this to his attention he becomes upset.. :( this sucks...he said he'd stop but i just feel dumb now.. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 July 2013): Any proof he actually does jack off?
Could we be talking about a performance related issue? Can't get it up, afraid of failing, gay etc etc?
there is such a thing as being addicted to porn but it is NOT a "I MUST DO THIS" thing, more a "nothing is on the telly, lets go for it". Actively doing it just before he goes and sees you seems REALLY odd.
Also, at his age, jacking off shouldn't be the end of the day. So why is it with him?
I think the masturbation is an excuse in itself to hide something else.
A
male
reader, Bellgrove  +, writes (2 July 2013):
Point him in the direction of this website:
http://www.reddit.com/r/NoFap/
Masturbation, especially to porn or while fantasising, weakens a man's desire for (real) sex; it overstimulates him to the point where a real woman is not enough to arouse him. The longer this extremely bad habit persists, the greater risk there is of experiencing erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation or delayed ejaculation. He's basically training himself not to have sex with you.
It takes 90 days to 'rewire' your brain.
You really need to confront him about this and make him do the 90 day challenge.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2013): my boyfriend (now husband) was the same way, I found out later he watches porn a lot when I'm not there, so I put my foot down and make him promise he don't watch porn until im home lol everything is good now.
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (2 July 2013):
 you have every right to ask him to abstain from masturbation if it affects your sex life. If you asked and he said ok... and he's NOT doing it then that's passive aggressive behavior and you need to find out what is making him so angry that he feels the need to be PA towards you.
...............................
A
female
reader, misLadYd..  +, writes (2 July 2013):
 he should just stop if he is addicted to doing it because it is affecting ur sex life..he needs to stop.
...............................
A
male
reader, Helloduckiexox +, writes (2 July 2013):
 It isn't your fault. Sometimes for me to last longer in bed I jerk before I have sex with my lady, so I can last about 1 hour or so in bed. So use it as advantage ... If he need helps jerking ask him if he needs him.. That totally turn him on.. Sex isn't suppose to be a serious thing for two lovers. It just playful and keep each other company and explore each other as much as possible and have fu.n lol
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 July 2013): Don't be upset. You will thank him one day.
He is just preventing his penis to make decisions for him. Maye you don't know guys well, but for most of the young guys, it's the penis that makes decisions, not the heart or brain.
A relationship is much more than just sex. After both of you made the right decisions and started your life together, you will have the rest of your (happy) life to make sex as much as you want.
...............................
|
