A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend mentioned at the start of our relationship that after being with a girl for a year, he would know whether or not he would want to marry that person. His last two girlfriends lasted about a year and his first serious girlfriend lasted four years ( she was four years older than him and he realises now he shouldn't have been wasting her time but too young to know it at the time!)We are at the ten month mark now and I feel a little uneasy! I mean we just moved in together (his idea) and he talks about how he wants to secretly elope abroad when he gets married and have a really short engagement and then celebrate after with a big party. But these are all speaking in terms of ifs bits maybes in my opinion! (We both talk about holidays next year and buying a house and getting a puppy. Should I be worried that the one year "review" is coming up? Mind you he may have clear forgotten about that by now! And we have had a big enough fight recently (which we worked through) but I felt like maybe the fight resets the relationship back at zero! Maybe I should stop worrying and just enjoy it! He knows my timeline and doesn't seem fazed by it..! I would love to marry him though (I felt something before we started dating - he's a big rational head though I'm sure he didn't lol)
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (5 July 2013):
 so why not ask him to get married?
I knew my hubby wanted me to get married but he had this weird mental block insisting that I propose to him... so we planned it and I did... did not make our engagement or marriage any less of an event than if he had asked me.
If you want to marry him, ask him... but since he said he wants to elope and have a very short engagement, you need to be prepared to elope (I loved getting married in Vegas it was fun to walk through the mall in our wedding finery and have folks cheer and congratulate us) and keep it hush hush...
A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (5 July 2013):
 So he has said nothing about getting married, correct? Just talked in vague terms about wanting to elope to someplace abroad when he gets married. It all sounds very vague and wishy washy to me.
I have to say it was probably not a good idea to move in together as an unmarried couple. There's no security in that(and yes, I know a lot of people do so).
I certainly think you'd be ill-advised to buy a house with him and get a puppy. What if, having bought the house he decided after a few months or a year he no longer wanted to live there with you. Then where would you be?
His track record with previous girlfriends doesn't sound all that great, either. Although of course not all relationships work out in the long run even if they seem promising to start with.
My final words to you are: proceed with caution!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 July 2013): No. You shouldn't be worried at all.
If you guys are meant to be together, no matter how long the journey of this crazy life may bring to both of you, it will happen.
Even if your bf set a standard on how to tell if the girl is the woman his going to marry, its still meaningless. his not God. fate is not for anyone to tell.
Sometimes things happen the least you expected it.
Just enjoy every moment with him. Be the best gf you can be.
Since you love him. Then make it work.
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