A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:so yesterday i found out my boyfriend did coke.... i had heard this from my friend and literally fought with her because i didnt believe it. then i asked my boyfriend and he told me that it was true but he would never do it again. i got very angry. my boyfriend doesnt think i have any reason to be mad at him for trying a drug. but the thing is hes addicted to pain killers which bother me but theres nothing i can do about it i rather him tell me about then lie to me and it really doesnt effect anything in our relationship he says that he should be allowed to do whatever he wants as long as hes not hurting me or if its not effecting our relationship. but i think i have every reason to be upset, disappointed, worried, and mad at him for doing coke !!! am i right ?
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female
reader, Candid Cally +, writes (16 September 2012):
I've watched over two dozen of my friends and acquaintances choose to ruin their lives by becoming addicted to painkillers. These people all started using these drugs while in college in their late teens or early twenties. None are currently employed despite having college degrees. The worst of them were thieves who would burglarize houses and steal from their parents, friends, and acquaintances to feed their habits. Most have wrecked multiple cars, have been arrested and charged with felony possession charges, a few went to rehab or through a court ordered program to have the charges dropped, but the others were convicted of their charges. The people who i know went to rehab have all relapsed since then.
As a former cocaine addict, I can assure you that you should be concerned about him using coke; however, I personally did not start to like, want, or need cocaine to get through a day until I began to use it regularly. I've had a few friends addicted to both cocaine and painkillers at the same time. They just sort of cut themselves off from everyone who cared about them and no one has heard from them in years.
You are young. You have your whole life ahead of you. The next few years of your life will be full of important decisions. The choices made by you and the people you are close to will influence who you grow to be and how bright your future may be.
He has clearly expressed that he will put his drug experimentation and addiction before your feelings. If he really loved you, he would at least try to get a handle on his addiction, and he definitely wouldn't be experimenting with other substances. But, he isn't trying. He has plainly told you drugs come before you do. You deserve a boyfriend who puts you and your feelings before drugs. Because of this, I strongly urge you to break up with your boyfriend. Your future will be brighter without him.
A
female
reader, Nik9 +, writes (16 September 2012):
If it bothers you that he is doing drugs then break up with him.
I know you care about him (when I was your age I was in a 3-year relationship with my "high school sweet heart" which ended and now I realize he wasn't right for me), but he most likely won't be your husband. You are only in high school and shouldn't waste your time on immature boys who do drugs. You are smart enough to realize that his abuse of pain killers and use of cocaine is dangerous so why attach yourself emotionally to someone like that?
I say let him go. You guys are already going in different directions in life. End it now before it becomes harder a year from now.
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A
female
reader, BondGirl72 +, writes (16 September 2012):
 I would leave him. Honestly, you cannot have a relationship with someone who does drugs. All he will bring you is drama and lots of emotional pain. If he is doing coke, he has probably done a lot of other drugs too.
If this is against your moral values...you need to leave. Imagine if you ever decided to make your relationship more serious. Do you like the idea of your husband using drugs? I wouldn't. What if you ever had children? Would it be ok if he did drugs? Would it be ok for him to use the money he should be using on you and his family to buy drugs? I know this is a long time away, but it is something to think about.
The fact is...his doing drugs DOES hurt other people. It hurts your character, it hurts your reputation, and if he becomes hooked on them, the drugs will take time away that he should be spending with you. Also, how do you know what or who he's been doing when he's high? Trust me, you do not want to be involved with someone who does drugs.
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A
female
reader, SamShaw  +, writes (16 September 2012):
I agree you should be worried and upset.
its not just how he treats you that can effect your relationship though, its how he treats himself and others that are close to the pair of you (such as friends who are also a couple ect.).
I would just just try to not ignore it, but try to to focus on him doing these drugs. and then just see how it goes from there..
thats how i'd handle it..
Hope it helps..
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 September 2012): Yes you have every right to be annoyed. He might say it's ok because he is treating you well, but it rarely stays that way with drug users. If he continues to take it, the drug will eventually become the most important thing to him, always. That, paired with the fact he already has a dependency on another type of drug, means I think you have a lot of thinking to do. Also, put the actual drug use aside and think about his reaction to your concerns - he doesn't see the big deal. This is probably the biggest issue as, unless he sees a good reason to change his opinion, you will always be of opposing beliefs. If it were me I would end it, but I know that is easier said than done. Good luck.
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