A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boy friend and I have been going out for over a year. About two months ago we broke up for over a month. Now that my boy friend and I are back together for a few weeks, we have agreed to be more open and tell each other how we feel about things. A problem we had before is that my boy friend did not want to listen to anything, so this is a big step.He also wants me to tell him anything new that I might want to try. So I just opened up and told him that I would really like to try threesomes with him and another guy a couple of times.My boy friend thought about it for a while (over night), and this morning told me he would try it under a few conditions. We would have to take it slow, that it is a guy we both know, no gay stuff, and if he gets to uncomfortable that we would stop it for that night. I added that I wanted the guy to not have a girl friend at the moment (because I didn’t want this to get in the way of anyone’s relationship), does not sleep around, and no STD’s (can be easily checked at the clinic at my school). We also agreed that I would see if I could find anyone. I am really happy that he said ok to this, and very impressed that we could come to a compromise. Before we go back together my boy friend would never compromise on anything, especially anything that concerned me. My question now is what is the best way to approach someone to be the other guy. I was thinking of asking a few guy friends of mine, or maybe asking my best friend if she knows of anyone. I will not use the Internet or consider a stranger. I think that is too unsafe and I would not be comfortable with anyone that I don’t know first.Does anyone have any insight into how best to handle this situation? Have any woman been successful at having threesomes without breaking up their relationship with their boyfriends?
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female
reader, exotic +, writes (14 October 2009):
I am sorry, but who is anyone to tell another person what is morally right or wrong? When two consenting adults agre to an activity, it is betwen the adults to wonder if it is morally wrong or right, and the effect it would have on their relationship.DArling, find a freind you find attarctive, and explain the situation to him. Simple and plain. this is what I want to do, no attachments, just for me and my boyfreind. Have fun and enjoy it. If you are comfortable with it and your man is, who cares what others think.
A
female
reader, Blue_Angel0316 +, writes (8 January 2009):
 I am wondering if you perhaps want to do this because he was with another woman. You stated that he wanted another woman so maybe you think that once you have another man it may bring back that magic .you once had in the relationship
I still urge you to reconsider because you are risking not only disease but being found out and you could wind up loosing your man altogether. You could also become to involved with the guy and wind up leaving your guy for him. If you love the man you are with now please be sure that it's what you really want because there may be no turning back. It's not just a moral issue it's also about loosing who you are to a fantasy.
In the long term you may realize later it was really a bad idea and it could be too late when the others find out and it spreads like wildfire that you have either had the threesome or that you have some disease because you were involved in having them. If you guy has a change of heart and walks away, how would you feel then? The guy who gets involved may become jealous and cause problems for you and your b/f too. So much can happen, I heard so many tales and it can be a big letdown too when you find out it just wasn't what you thought it would be and you have already messed up what remained of the relationship you were struggling to mend.
I wish you the best but I ask you to please think about this.
IS IT REALLY WORTH IT!
God bless,
Blue_Angel
^(**)^
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the quick replies.
I understand the moral issues, but then again we are both single and are having a sexual relationship without being married. So, I think, once you decide to have sex without being married, then the moral line has been crossed anyway.
I was not sexually active in high school, I never intended to be sexually active at college, but after I met my boy friend then things changed. At first it was special, but after we broke up for a while because he wanted other woman, it was no longer special like it was before.
I think whenever you decide to have sex you are taking a chance for an std, so you always have to be careful, and possibly have the other person checked out at a medical service like we have here at school. With a few simple tests, they can tell you if you have an STD or not.
As for trying a threesome, I am just very curious. I think it is something you can try when you are single, but as soon as you are married you have to be 100% faithful to your vows (no one else). And I am glad my bf want to take it slow because I would not feel comfortable just having sex with someone on the first few nights, it takes me a while to feel comfortable with guys. And, who knows, I might not be comfortable in a threesome at all, but I will not know until I try.
Anyone else have any thoughts?
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A
female
reader, Blue_Angel0316 +, writes (7 January 2009):
I don't think your idea of a threesome is a good idea at all. You just got back together with your boyfriend so it means that your relationship is already a bit unstable and rocky. Allowing someone else to enter into the middle of it will only confuse matters and probably make the situations worse.
No matter who you find, you can never be 100% certain of another person not sleeping around, not having some kind of disease or trying to take your mate away. Even someone who is supposed to be heterosexual could be masking his real preferences and your guy could be a target! The chance that the other male will try to seduce you and break you and your guy up is also possible. Discretion is a must in this type of relationship you now seek, and even that isn't 100$ gaurenteed!
It's best that you find something else that will help bring your relatioship closer. Involving someone else in an already shook up situation isn't going to solve anything and WILL NOT make things better. You are both too young to be living your life this way. Your b/f could be trying to please you and if you love him you had better reconsider because you are on your way to a place that could PUSH him AWAY FOREVER@!
I do have to say that it seems you are the one in control here, however don't let your control get out of control. Make wise decisions if you want to keep things on the mend and make this relationship really work out.
From a Distance.........GOD IS WATCHING !!! LET HIM be the one to GUIDE you and MAKE the relationship you have now PROSPER, WITHOUT someone else involved...If there must be a threesome...Then Choose God the Father, The Son and The HOLY GHOST! You WILL go further in life with them than with any other human involved!
God bless,
Blue_Angel
^(**)^
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