A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Have I blown it with this man, and should I contact him or wait and see if I bump into him?I briefly went out with this man last year. I wouldn't exactly call him an ex, we didn't date for long, and we didn't have sex.He still contacts me from time to time. I have a boyfriend, but I want to break up with him. Things haven't been going very well with us lately. I met up with the guy I used to date on Thursday. I went to his place. We have met a few times recently. We went out for drinks. It went well at first on Thursday. I had some cider, which I am used to drinking. However, he gave me some whisky after that, and I think it is strong. I'm not used to drinking it. It went straight to my head!. I was laughing a lot at first. Then, he started talking about a woman that he used to like, and said he bumped into her again recently. I cant remember if he said that he still likes her now. Its a bit of a blur. When he mentioned the woman, I got jealous and said "oh, so I'm not the only person you like then?". He told me that he has liked a few people, but hasn't dated anyone. He apparently hasn't dated anyone since me and him finished. He also said "well, you're the one who has been dating someone. I haven't dated anyone". He told me that he didn't want to argue. We both lost track of the time, as we were both drunk. I felt bad, because he had to get up early for work. He could only have two hours sleep , as he had to get up for work then. I didn't intend staying late, and I didn't want to stay over. I wasn't feeling very well, so I wanted to go home. He told me that he wanted to go to bed and he wouldn't see that I got home ok. I cant remember when he unlocked the door, but he unlocked it, and then got in bed. We kissed, and he was stroking my face. He wanted me to stay there.I tried to wake him up to tell him that I wanted him to lock the door, and tell him I was leaving, but he wouldn't wake up. I left his place and the door was still unlocked. I hope he is ok. I was annoyed that he didn't see me into the taxi though. Should I call him and apologise?. Or should I wait until I bump into him and apologise then, or wait and see if he contacts me?. Do you think he will have fallen out with me?. Before I met up with him, he apologised for how he had behaved when I saw him the time before that. The time before, I was in a pub with him when I was out with one of my female friends. My friend kept talking a lot, and the guy I used to date wasn't involved in the conversation, so he felt left out.He left early. When I heard from him on Thursday, he told me that he felt left out, and he was in a bad mood, so he left. He also told me that he went to another pub after that, and told his friend that he was upset because he had felt left out. He also told me on Thursday that he still likes me, and I told him that I still like him. And he said that when he goes out, he asks one of his friends if he has seen me around. If I could forgive him for walking away in a bad mood, surely he can forgive me?.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2014): Honeypie, do you think I made myself look stupid in front of him?. And do you think he was jealous?.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (9 February 2014):
 I agree with YouWish as well.
If you want to END it with your BF then put on your big girl panties and break up, seeing another guy (even if you pretend you are "just" friends is bullshit.) You wouldn't be jealous of him liking someone else if you were "just" friends.
And the guy you "dated a little" doesn't seem like a really good fit. Seriously, you two are already "fighting" over BS little issues and you are NOT EVEN dating.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2014): I wanted to apologise for getting angry with him when he mentioned the other woman ,and for making him late for going to bed, as he had to work the next day, although, I suppose it was his fault too, as we both lost track of the time and we had both had a drink. And I wanted to apologise for leaving when his door was unlocked. I hope he got up for work in time, and I hope he was safe.
I suppose he had a point when he said that I have been dating someone. We have broken up now, by the way. However, I don't think he should have mentioned that woman to me, as he must have known that it would hurt my feelings. He also shouldn't have unlocked the door and then got in bed. Although, he probably thought that I would stay.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2014): I don't understand why you feel the need to apologize to this guy. For leaving? You told him you wanted to go home and he chose to go to sleep rather than make sure you got home, or at least got to the taxi. He's the one who should be apologizing, not you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2014): I so agree with ' you wish ' .. I'm sorry as I don't want to think we are getting at you, and relationship are tricky things to work through but messing behind your boyfriends back before you even give the guy a chance to rectify what's wrong . I mean breaks up take ' two ' and relationship no matter what they are from friendship to family to lovers take time and devotion to work through . Every relationship as stated changes, we grow as individuals and develop it's normal. And we shouldn't just abandon people unless there is no recourse .. But at least tell him the issues then either try n work through them . If that doesn't work then move on .Now this other guy, is quite crafty .. He keeps intouch, just enough to keep the fire burning and with hope of a roll in the hay .I have a q's why would he be angry because he was rude and went to sleep because he wasn't getting any ? I mean no decent guy wouldn't see agirl into a taxi and be calling to find out if she was safe next day if he didn't . He uses the other women technic as a jel factor .. To see if you will react which you did but it's not a dial up as in you be my girlfriend is it ?? As he hasn't asked you .. No as ' you wish' has sussed it's a clever tactic to get you into his bed .. Beware the charmer .. If I were you I would sort out the boyfriend issue either make it work or break it off . Then be upfront if so and say hey I'm a girl who speaks my mind, you like me. I like you lets give this another go but friends don't do what your doing so you would need to set the boundaries if say that isn't what he wantsGood luck though .. X
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2014): Not sure i agree, as you didn't have sex when you dated before.
He is interested in you, but not perfect. Who is .
Finish it with your boyfriend and have a little time alone before rushing into anything else. I think he was trying to tell you in a very clumsy way that he is interested. I would tx him, don't apologise as neither of your behaviour was great, and explain your having a bit of time on your own but was good to see him.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (8 February 2014):
 If you're thinking about apologizing, you should start with your boyfriend. He deserves the apology for you cheating on him. The fact that the relationship is on the rocks doesn't make it alright to go behind his back. You end relationships before you see other people. I'm guessing you didn't tell your boyfriend about this guy contacting you?
When things go bad in a relationship, you are always 50% of the problem, and you take yourself with you to every relationship. The fact that you got jealous of this guy liking another woman as you cheat on your boyfriend is a pretty morally bankrupt decision.
This new guy isn't any good for you. He's not interested in you for any more than a passing sexual interest.
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