A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i'm 26 and i have a relationship with a 37 years old man. he is very social and thats what i liked to him.sometimes though i think he is very close to other girls in front of me, and i get upset. he was very sweet and sexy and i felt in love with him. at the begining he wanted to be with me all the time. Now, he says he respects me so he doesn't want to push me and make me change any plans i may have in order to see him...how can i find out if he wants to be with me? when i asked him, he said he was like that from the begining and I must be cool like i was in the begining... Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2008): You both have to learn relationships evolve and nothing stays the same at the beginning.
Then again he might be using that as an excuse. How he feels about you might be cooling off but hes leaving you with no clues whatsoever.
You need to be firm about this. You being cool at the beginning is regardless. Unless you've actually come a point in your relationship pretty recently where hes getting in the way of where your idle direction would be in life, there would be no reason for the comment of 'changing my/your plans'.
Therefore! - if this is making any sense - you need to say that he isn't getting in the way of any of your plans. That way he is run out of options on what to say. If he insists he is, you need to be strong about it, say he isn't but ask why he thinks he is. Whats actually going on and is this an excuse for your relationship to end?!
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