A
male
age
41-50,
*enny boy
writes:Hi, I feel like I am at my wits end with my girlfriend and need your help/ advice/ opinions.We got engaged 15 months ago and seem to argue abit (which I know is normal) the thing is when we argue, I am the type of person that wants to sort it out more or less straight away where as she can go for days before sorting it out. I admit when I am in the wrong and she seems to try to avoid seeing self fault in arguments (which may be something to do with her past).The latest argument has stemmed from her car failing it’s mot test [for those in the US, the car failed inspection] and her having to scrap it, she says that she wants a motorbike and as she is quite an unsafe driver (which she’s admitted in the past) I have expressed my concern and worry and said that I am against it (then there’s the whole practicality side of it where she wont be able to drive it much in the winter when the conditions are bad and when that happens she’ll be expecting me to drive her around I guess). We were out last night and she said that she might cash her savings bonds in, which I know is totally up to her but I am saving my savings towards our future and I just get the impression that she is just digging her heals in. A friend of the family left me some money years ago, which I told her about (which I am saving towards a house) and she made a comment last night saying ‘it’s alright for you, you’ve got loads of money’. It’s like she goes on about getting a house, married, babies but then she comes out with crap like cashing her savings in for a motorbike. So I’ve brought it up today (about her comment about me having ‘loads of money’) because it’s been on my mind and she’s gone funny with me saying ‘stop going on’ as if I’ve got a problem, and as if I’m in the wrong. So I said not to be funny if I’m going to be driving her around while she hasn’t got a car, she said don’t bother then and hung up on me. When I’m not happy about some argument/ something she’s said and I bring it up, I get the whole ‘why are you bringing it up again’ and ‘stop going on messing with my head’. I just feel so frustrated.I really do love her and she’s a really nice girl but this kind of thing is just stupid, please help!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (28 April 2010):
 Oh dear aren't us girls horrible sulky little brats. Your GF sounds like a very head strong person who is used to getting her own way. (Many of us are like this) It really worries me though that she is saying things like "It's alright for you, you've got loads of money." It sounds very resentful. Would she go to therapy with you? I think it would be great to have someone who is not emotionally involved to mediate between you both and get things straightened out. One word of caution don't rush into marriage yet because if it continues like this you will end up emotionally starved and really unhappy.
Good luck I hope this all works out for you let us know how you are getting on.
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