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At my age, my parents still don't know I'm a lesbian. How do I tell them?

Tagged as: Family, Gay relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 May 2010) 3 Answers - (Newest, 9 May 2010)
A female United States age , *hinalou2 writes:

Hi

My parents doesnt know I been a lesbian all my life. My parents and I never have even asked me if I date! Never been a subject of conversation. I respect my parents and I wish I could just be me but I cant. Better yet dont know how to approach them. They are my priority and my girlfriend knows this and tells me to just keep things secret between us but I am not sure how long I can lie. I feel a bit heavy hearted for not being truthful. I know I am a grown up but I really dont want to hurt their feelings. Any ideas how can I approach them without hurt feelings? Thanks!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2010):

Im a mother. If my daughter reached your age without a man ever being in her life i would know she was a lesbian. They probably never bring the subject up because either they prefer living in "ignorance" or they feel as youve never told them anything, you dont want them in your business. As a mum i would sooner be in my daughters life with the benefit of an "extra" daughter than be kept on the side lines. Maybe have a chat to your mum. Ask if shes ever wondered why theres been no man in your life and ask if she has ever wondered why. Someone needs to make the first move.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2010):

I was going to say what the other poster said. They are your parents, and know you alot better than you think. Odds are they already know, but dont talk to you about it because they figure you will tell them when you are ready. No offence here at all .. but Ive never understood why gays and lesbians need to " come out ". Ive never had to stand up and say .. Hey Im straight .. I am who I am, and you are who you are. Dont get me wrong though, I am 40 and in a relationship with a guy in his 20s, its pretty serious and when I told me parents, I was freeking out .. so I understand completly. But I found that the only person making it out to be a big deal ... was me. Look at it like this, if you tell them, and they shun you ... will you change for them ? I doubt it .. if you tell them and they embrace you and your girlfriend, will it take a world of wieght of your shoulders? Im sure it will. I think you need to tell them, straight out - no pun intended - and I hope everything works out the way its supposed to. Good luck

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A female reader, raiders United States +, writes (9 May 2010):

raiders agony auntMaybe they don't ask because they already know. I know that when my brother came out of the closet, we already knew he was gay.

Tell them Dad Mom I have something very important to tell you, its regarding my life and I want you to know that I love you but have kept a secret that is so personal I was afraid to tell you. Please don't judge me but I want to be honest with you, I'm a lesbian and I have always known I was attractive to women. I have a wonderful girlfriend and I care for her so much I want you to meet her and want to share my happiness with you. Please tell me you love me and accept me and my sexual preference.

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