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At about the time he started having feelings for me, he decided it was time to "step back"!

Tagged as: Breaking up, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (15 November 2005) 3 Answers - (Newest, 18 November 2005)
A female , anonymous writes:

I have been seeing/hanging out with this guy since september. I'm in my late twenties and he's in his early fourties. He has been hot and cold with me all along. Until the past couple of weeks something had changed and it seemed like he was starting to develop feelings for me and acting the way that I had wanted him to act towards me all along. Then all of a sudden he breaks our plans that we had and tells me he needs to take a step back? communication doesn't come easy to this man btw

He occasionally mentions his ex-wife and sometimes forgets to add the EX part, he's been seperated/divorced for quite some time now. When he does mention her, it doesn't make me uncomfortable just makes me feel like he may not be over her...

I don't know what to think now, i asked him if our "thing" was over and done with and he says "yeah, i need to take a step back a bit" that isn't yes or no so what the heck does that mean? or maybe that's just a nice way of saying yes?

We work in the same building so i see him on a daily basis and it's so hard, i don't know how i should act.

View related questions: ex-wife, his ex

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A female reader, bee +, writes (18 November 2005):

Poor you. I hope you feel better soon.

I would avoid this man - he doesn't know what he wants and that can be very hurtful to be around...he'll think only of himself and his own confusion.

Look after yourself.

x

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A reader, schlottjl United States +, writes (16 November 2005):

schlottjl agony auntIgnore him totally and run from this guy. Don't analyze him just run. He has the classic symptoms (in every single way as if you made him up based on the symptoms) of a man with severe commitment phobia. He is nothing but trouble. Let his real friends comfort and feel sorry for him. He will play the reel you in and throw you away game until you can't stand it anymore and this is no good for you. Don't go any further if you want real love one day.

But if you prefer a good stroy to tell your friends and prefer drama to intimacy, by all means he is your guy. Just keep in mind, you have been warned. Only you can be to blame if you don't heed it.

In the mean time, research the sickness and look for the classic warning signals these very sick people give out. It will never be about your happiness if you are willing to try with the old guy. Why not insist it be about your needs half of the time.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2005):

He is done with you. Sorry.

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