A
male
age
51-59,
*irginman
writes:being a virgin at 41 Hi am a male am 41 and yes still a virgin I have never had a girlfriend never been in love is it cool to be a virgin at that age am shy with girls have no confidence
View related questions:
confidence, never had a girlfriend, shy, still a virgin Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, matthew-matt  +, writes (10 May 2014):
I'm in the same boat but I'm 25 never had a girlfriend, never been on a date and still a Virgin I thought about trying online dating I got 3 "dates" from that 2 of the canceled one is in 8 hours, maybe you should try online if you are having problems in the real world
A
male
reader, virginman +, writes (12 August 2013):
virginman is verified as being by the original poster of the questionit's because girls never give me a second look so I now class myself as ugly I have got used to the idea of being a virgin it doesn't bother me I certainly would not go to a prostitute to lose It I do have a bit of hope that I may one day meet a nice woman but never know I don't hold out much hope though
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2013): On principle? Women won't think its that big of a deal. They will be more worried about you not having a relationship history than not having a sex history.
But if you actually want to date THEM, not their unattractive friend that they have been struggling to fix up with someone for years? Probably not. Most women would think you are fine for "someone else".
...............................
A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan +, writes (11 August 2013):
Why are you worrying whether or not people will think that your virginity at 41 is cool? You can’t change it anyway. And ladies that are worth your time would think you were a lot less cool were you to lose it on a one-night stand or, as some virgins your age who post on this site have done, used the services of a prostitute. I remember cautioning one against so-doing, as did many other agony aunts (mostly women), he didn’t listen and a post months later showed us that it had only made things worse, had gone badly and his rock-bottom confidence, which he thought was due to his virginity, had only taken another battering. I took no pleasure in pointing out that I told him so.
Your confidence is what you can work on. I’d suggest the best way to start is to learn how to be comfortable around women, to think less about their being female, and more about topics of conversation, things you have in common. Get used to interacting comfortably with women, showing them a friendly and pleasant personality, and the confidence lift from that may allow you to start looking at dating in the future. And your new female friends will help you.
You may well read this and think it all sounds so easy, far easier said than done. That’s absolutely true. But you’re probably thinking this confidence issue is too big to overcome, but if you break things down in to more manageable goals, like first finding it easier to talk to women, you’ll get there.
I wish you all the very best.
...............................
|
