A
male
age
41-50,
*omber78
writes:Im not sure what to do or think any more.... Im engaged to a woman who is my every thing and now it seems to be slipping away. we recently got engaged on august 8 a day before her birthday. Since then she has moved into her own apartment and we live 40 miles apart and im taking care of her cat as she can't have her in the apartment. august 30th i helped her move into her apartment and did almost every thing dishes,mopped the floor and set up all the furinture i did stay the nite with her. I didn't even get a thank you or a kiss out of it, so yesterday when we were comming back to my place i finally got her to talk to me a little about me moving in which we both agree i need a job first, yes im trying really hard to find one. She used to text me all the time while she was at work and on her breaks and that has stopped right around our engagment. I asked her about this and she told me that her breaks are her specail times and she didn't want to waste them texting me. I asked her how come she doesn't say i love you any more unless i say it first and she said its cause i say it to often (once or twice a day)Then we started talking about her cat and she told me her cats number one in her life and i was number one and a half I said WTF and she stated its only cause she has had her cat longer and then went on to say atleast im not number three. She is real clingy to her cell i mean like she barely lets it out of her sight she also erases her text once or twice a day some times when were together she wont even read them just erase them. Now when i was helping her move in and stayed the nite she went to bed around 5pm and she works the nite shift at her job she closed the bedroom door, i heard her cell phone go off and didn't think much off it she woke up around 3am and went into the front room and closed the bedroom door she was out there for about 45 minutes then came back to bed she left the bedroom door open. in the am she took her shower and i did check her cell and she only had one text from one of those stupid email advertisements. Any advise would help thanks
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2009): Dude its like this,i just broke up with my fiance and she and i had a similiar experience.She was always being sneaky with her cell phone and put it on auto delete on her texts.when we first met she didnt do that.and once i put the ring on her finger all the intimacy and passion stoped with her,and no matter how hard i tried it never got better only worse.Dude save yourself the heartache and pain she isnt ready,alot of woman say i do when really they need to say i dont or atleast say not yet.Instead they crush and break heart and destroy a guys soul.Dude just move on.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2009): Are you sure she wasn't just testing you about the cat? Have you ever told her you would want her to get rid of the cat? Maybe that is what she fears will happen. It seems to me she is fearful about something. If you don't want her to slip away, then instead of challenging her about why aren't you saying you love me, why do you cling to your cell phone, sometime before you go to bed, ask her if something is wrong that she seems really distant lately.
Maybe she is just withdrawing a bit because she has a lot to think about after you asking her to marry her. I think sometimes when women are shown so much love, they start to feel badly about themselves, like maybe I am not worth this, maybe he will leave me someday, I mean it is more a internal thing that she is going through......I think if you give her a little time she may come around, after all she said yes didn't she? She is taking a big step and it is scarey, she has a lot to work out in her head and heart, I wouldn't take it too personally and push her away with your fear....just show her you believe in her and the two of you....and it will probably all work out.
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A
female
reader, shygrl86 +, writes (3 September 2009):
 Dude, Don't marry this girl. She has something going on behind your back. You guys don't live togeather and you live 40 miles apart, she has someone she talks to every night.There is no reason for her to be so protective over her phone that way.And if you are going to marry someone they are going to be the first and formost in your life especially over a damn cat!I love you is something you should never get sick of when you feel the same about someone. She should feel charished and be more appretiative of what you do for her. This girl needs to take the bitch stick out of her ass and realize that men like you are hard to find.Something is going on and you need to get out and keep your pride before you get hurt and played.Keep in touch!
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