A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've been really good friends with a girl for the past 15 years,we get on really well, usually have fun and laughs together and she had helped me through problems with my ex and witnessed the fallout on both sides from the eventual breakup a few years ago.About halfway between the breakup with my ex and the present time, I discovered I had stronger feelings for this friend and atempted to do something about it but she wouldn't do anything about it at the time, I was never sure of the reason why, whther she just was not attracted to me in that way or if it was because of my ex, so I gave up on it and resigned myself to the fact that we would only ever be friends and everything went back to normal.To my complete surprise, a couple of months ago, she approached me, I could barely contain my excitement, this girl is a sweetheart! She's funny, cute, attractive, sexy, strong willed, fiercely independent and a really good friend. I told her straight off that if something was going to happen between us, I wasn't interested in it being a one time thing, I wanted to build something, she said she understood, we were seeing each other for a few weeks and then she went travelling on a pre-planned trip for 2 months. we were in contact almost every day via phone or internet and everything was going so well. I was really happy, my friends could see it, my family could see it, I even talked to them about it and I don't normally discuss relationships with family until they are well established. Everything was fine, all of the messages from her indicated this in no uncertain terms right up until the day before she arrived back.I went to meet her at the airport the day she got back and knew she was tired from travelling and had agreed to bring her home and let her sleep and see her after a few hours, I could get a feeling of some tension from her but imagined it was just tiredness and stress about work. We saw each other after a few hours and when we spoke, she told me something didn't feel right,she expected to feel differently upon seeing me again and she had been really looking forward to coming back, I was the main reason she was looking forward to coming back. she was confused and said she needed some time, she asked if we could meet in a day or 2 and I suggested waiting a little longer to allow time to readjust and take pressure off, she was happy about this, I felt miserable. we finally met up after a week and things were fine ,she said she wanted to give this relationship a chance, we went back to her place and were in bed and she suddenly froze up and said she couldn't do this that something didn't feel right, she just wasn't feeling it since she arrived back.I tried to be sensitive to what she was feeling give her more time, however I was upset and this came into the conversation too which automatically made her think that she could not continue and attempt to try this anymore because she did not want to hurt me in any way, it was making her feel awful. She said she was happy with her decision but it was obvious she was quite emotional about it and so was I. I don't understand how her feelings can change so quickly in a few hours from being really excited to see me and spend time together, to not having any feelings or at least claiming not to. I'm very confused and its quite difficult because we've been friends for so long that now it will be really difficult for me to pretend like this never happened and in order to get over this I probably should not have any contact with her, I want to know that she's ok, I'm hoping whatever feelings she had for me return but if I call or text her she will just see me as needy and pathetic and if I don't get the reply I hope for, it will end up hurting me more.Can I get her back? What should I do?
View related questions:
my ex, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! |
