A
female
age
36-40,
*loudysunshine
writes:Please someone help, I can't stop crying as I write this. I've posted a few times but find it helps. I broke up with my boy friend of five years five months ago. I was totally fine and had never felt so together with myself. I liked my guy friend but he let me down. I dated recently and got used. I've always worried about stuff irrationally but when I was with my boy friend i'd shake it off. I have a reli bad fear that I'm gonna turn into a lesbian, think its called hocd even though I feel repulsed at the thought. It doesn't help that I don't really fancy any boys atm and its making my worries worse. I've never felt so low, and I'd literally give anything to feel like myself again.
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female
reader, cloudysunshine +, writes (7 April 2009):
cloudysunshine is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks again, I know you're right, and that's what keeps me positive, thanks again for your reply!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2009): Glad to hear that you are on medication, and yes it will take some time to really work, however, you need to follow up with your doctor because whenever you are on these medications they have to be adjusted, or sometimes another type of drug needs to be added to it, such as anti-depressants....so keep in contact with your doctor and let them know how it is working for you.
Yes you need to stop focusing on this guy and the fact that you are not attracted to any one at the moment....focus instead on your studies and really focus in on you and how you are feeling and think about what are some things that interest you, activities, passions.
No one goes around feeling greatly attracted to the opposite sex all of the time....it usually happens with a spark of interest and chemistry between two people, so you just haven't met that someone yet and probably not ready to do so. It doesn't mean that you are going to turn into a lesbian, seriously, that is just crazy don't you think?
Come on, you know yourself better than that! Stay single on your own, do not date any one seriously until you have yourself figured out, your interests, your goals, your likes, your requirements for a relationship and what you want in a partner....stay focused on you!
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A
female
reader, cloudysunshine +, writes (7 April 2009):
cloudysunshine is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for you're response. I have been for medication and it does seem to be helping although I think it will take a few more weeks to work properly. I know how silly it is, but I can't seem to stop worrying about it, maybe because I have so much time on my hands. But I am in uni, and I know I need to get a grip for the sake of my degree and my sanity, just i don't feel myself, and if myself was part of a couple I think it'll just take time. I'm just worried because I'm not particularly attracted to anyone atm but sumwher inside I know I will be in time. Thanks again.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2009): Go see your doctor, there is no reason to suffer this much with anxiety.....there are medications for that....just go to your gp and tell them what you are thinking and how often and how you feel and they can help you.
As far as your feelings over your ex goes, you were together for a long time and from a very young age apparantly. This is a blessing, you need to learn to stand on your own two feet and figure out who you really are as an individual. Work on your self esteem, goal setting, and stop dating for a good while. Be single and find things to do that fill you up and do that....You don't need a man or to be part of a couple to be happy. In fact you need to learn to conquer loneliness and to be happy with your own company, to love yourself before you can really love any one else...
It is going to take some time to get over him completely, it is normal to feel sad sometimes, don't fight those feelings, but then tell yourself it is time to let them go, get up and get moving and stay busy and do some meditating, read some books, make some jewelry , do anything to distract yourself and you will get over this in time.
You aren't a lesbian, you are repulsed by the idea, so why worry about that, that is ridiculous and may be do to the underlying anxiety disorder that you may suffer from. Get some help, it isn't going to go away on it's own or through sheer will power, you may need some treatment for it.
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