A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Just a little something i wrote nd want to share :-Everyone smiles and falls for my fake smile and laughs as the truth lays hidden.-I wish I could erase all traces of my existence and fade away for eternity.-Deep inside I am strong, I have a force that is almost inexhaustible but all that does not matter once you’ve given up, once you start drowning yourself in your own guilt and lies.-Like a broken record, their words keep playing over and over in my head and haunt me, even when I am in my deepest sleep.-I have a soul that is tormented, my thoughts are dark, I feel death so close to me but once again life is only an illusion.-I am imprisoned by my own thoughts; I suffer and cry for help in silence and despair.-Life is just a poison that kills us slowly as time passes by, making every moment harder. So for that reason I let my body and soul fall to the ground, the breeze caresses my skin, I soon hear the drops of heavens water, I find myself in an instant between reality and dreams, a place where I would hope to lay forever, I tenderly get tortured but feel peaceful once again since a long time, deep inside, then slowly I wake up and go back to reality, where I get up without a sound and leave the world in silence.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2008): You are precious! Even though your inner strength is weakening to hold on to your 'true' you, it is there. Many people have sold their souls to 'fit' in...and have only become depressed.
(Depression is 'supressed' feelings) So i say, keep writing or tell your feelings...it is healing to accept them, but cry out a prayer for strength. He is there. You are 'real' and have depth. I see your value, and true living comes when you see yours.
A
female
reader, nice bitch +, writes (6 September 2008):
Dark, very rich in intensity. That my friend is actually talent undirected. Write it all down and that will get it out. Take the old repeat words in your head like a tape cassette out of the box, trash it and make a new one, a better one. Thoughts will wash in, negative are easiest to grab, screw those paper shred them. Pick the ones you like, let moods pass look for any good. Your're in charge. If every thought you had was right, that is called psycopath. What if one says kill, choke,poop pants, what then??? Your dealing with this because you put it there, if repeated, just like school or a comercial that is what you learn. Rule your mind! Pick how you roll! If you get depressed pull out in the first 2 days or it will last 12. Happiness is only here 10% of the time, learn to be okay with boredom fear anger etc.emotions they all get a turn. Gratitude is a cure anger and fear are eliminated by it gratitude and anger cannot exist in the body at the same time. Use the power that is overwhelming you for you. Find a target and try shooting it on purpose, like poetry, boxing, debate, music or whatever. Your power is out of control. LEARN who you are! Learn your darkside well, you can see it well. Remember you'll be sent the same problem intil your learn that lesson.
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A
female
reader, supermum  +, writes (5 September 2008):
 i wrote a poem that might help you.. i will say the first two versus, then if you want the rest, email me and ill email you the whole thing. all the best!This ones for YOUFor every child who cries at night, alone with shame, and pain, and fright.for every child who cannot feel, because of scars too deep to heal......
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A
female
reader, PsyCookie +, writes (5 September 2008):
 I used to feel the same way as you do (which I think you may have based your poem about, your "torments of teenagehood")
I thought I was dark, mysterious, and probably tormented. Now I look back and I think "No, you were just confused". I was confused, just like most teenagers out there. We were confused on who we were, what was our porpuse, what's our value. We try to reach for individuality; for personal enlightment.
In fact, we humans don't end that journey until we die.
But in the journey called life, we understand things better and clearer as we get older.
We realize that the world is not dark. We realize that the world is not against us. We realize that dwelling in darkness is NOT the answer. We realize that just laying around will not solve anything.
So I also got up and did something. I got up and went to look for happiness and left that part of myself and never looked back. Dwelling in darkness will not solve anything. Been there done that and until one doesn't get up and look for the light, we would just stay in that same dark corner wondering why the world is against us, when the reality is that the only person who can ever go against us is ourselves.
Leaving the world in silence is just going back to were you were. I would look up, with a big smile, for having known that after I fell rock bottom that I got up, by my own means, and therefore that would make me a worthwile person.
Ignoring reality may be your thing, but when the hamburger is just as delicious as I taste it, then I prefer that reality than nothing else.
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