A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So this question is not pertaining to my relationship. My boyfriend is best friends with his cousin jon and since being with my bf for 3 years I'm close with jon as well. Jon can be a little untrustworthy and kind of conniving. Jon has been with his current gf for a year now, which is great because in the past he was a player. We love his gf a lot and she's such a nice girl. Recently while out my bf and I ran into an old friend who had a pqst with jon. She drunkinly told us her and jon had hooked up a month or 2 back. This really upset me. I know my bf won't tell jons gf, but I kinda feel like she should know. I don't wanna get involved but at the same time I feel as a friend she should know. I'd I told her it would ruin my friendship with jon and possibly complicate things with my boyfriend. Idk is it wrong to not tell her? I would want er to tell me if my boyfriend was cheating on me.
View related questions:
best friend, cousin, drunk, player Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, LeaLea89 +, writes (13 August 2014):
Tough question. Telling the gf would really depend on how well I know her and how strong our friendship is.
If you only know her as an acquaintance,, she might not believe you. Especially if your own bf won't back you up. If things become strained between them, the negativity will come between the guys, and then into your own relationship.
If I were in your place, I'd talk to Jon myself and be casual about it. I'd tell him that there are rumors going around that he hooked up with some girl a couple months ago and that you are telling him because you don't want the gossip to hurt his gf or relationship. That way,you're sure he knows that you know.... and that means that a lot of others probably know too. Maybe the fear of the whole town knowing will make him realize that cheating isn't worth it.
As far as his gf is concerned, you can bet that she will find out soon, especially if the other girl is drunk and babbling about the hook up to anyone she meets. You would do better just being there as a friend for his gf to lean on when she finds out.
A
female
reader, 02DuszJ  +, writes (12 August 2014):
 Well like you say, she has a RIGHT to know. Yeah it'll cause a bit of a rift with your boyfriend but hes not your best friend- he's your boyfriend's and tbh he's obviously a jerk. You wouldn't want to be her? Your bf won't like it but if he doesn't stand up to his friend he's condoning his friend's behaviour...As you get older, you change as a person, realise things and grow stronger and wiser. You know in your gut it's wrong and your bf WILL go off on one but stick to your guns- because even if at some point you feel you've made a big mistake, you've done a courageous moral thing- put this nice girl who doesn't deserve to be jerked around, before your own interests and relationship... All in the name of decency and morality. I think that's pretty commendable and what I would do.Good luck and take care! :)
...............................
|
