A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:Ever since I can remember, my daughter, 30, has complained bitterly about the state we raised her in: North Carolina. When the kids were young, we moved our family from North Carolina from Florida for a better life in North Carolina, but she's so ungrateful and wants to move back to Florida. Aren't adult children supposed to stay near family for the comfort of their parents? I should be outraged, right?-Wounded Dad Reply to this Question
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (3 April 2018):
 You have posted something similar to this before in the past, am pretty sure you are just looking for a reaction on the internet.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2018): Are you a control freak, an abuser or a worry wart?
Unless you are leaving þout important information, you should let her leave peacefully and wish her the best.
If you are unable to let her go peacefully, maybe (I said YOU, not your daughter) should get professional help from a psychologist.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2018): No, adults are not supposed to stay by family for comfort of their parents. They are supposed to fly the coop.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2018): Dude she is thirty not three. She is an adult.She can move anywhere she wants.Feel lucky that at least she is in the same country as you because you know since she is an adult she can move to the other side of the world if she wanted to.Keep acting stupid and she will cut you off.you should not be outraged she should be at the way you think.If you are old and need a home health aide hire one she is your daughter not your servant.unreal.
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male
reader, CMMP +, writes (25 March 2018):
You're complaining about your daughter being selfish, and in the process you're being selfish. Let your daughter do what she needs to do in order to be happy.
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female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (24 March 2018):
 I am attached to my place of birth and I was transplanted against my will. Now I am back to my place of birth and I am happy. I am not ungrateful to my parents, in fact quite the contrary. I will make my once a year meeting with them special, knowing that as they age this will be more difficult for them. Luckily if need be, they can live half a year closer to me if they wish. The distance between North Carolina and Florida is nothing compared to others who had to fly hours. Do you have a medical/emotional condition or have you come to your age when you suddenly worry about lessened time to spend with family members? If yes, express this feeling. I hope you are on good terms with your children. I feel like there is more to this post than just simply living in two states apart.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2018): She has every right to live wherever she wants and you should not hold her back. Im sure you will still be able to visit each other and keep in regular contact by phone email etc.
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2018): By the way, you can be outraged all you like.
The negative-energy you're wasting on anger and creating estrangement; could be better used trying to be a loving and understanding father.
What's to stop you from moving to Florida when you retire? Not too close to your daughter; you seem to have a little problem with being controlling.
Sir, I sense the powerful love you have for your daughter. Isn't it better that your kids show their love and loyalty of their own free-will; than to do it out of guilt or being forced to?
Maybe your negative opinion of her, your stubbornness, and disapproval gave her cause to move away. Just being a loving father should have made the decision hard for her to do, and it would make her visits to see you a lot more frequent.
Now she's out of reach and has broken your hold. Now the test is to see how far your love can reach.
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2018): She's a woman now. No longer the baby-girl you held in your arms. You moved from Florida to NC; what about those you left in Florida?
The difference in now and the good ole days is that people can stay in-touch in a variety of ways. You can see and talk to her 24/7 using your devices. The state of Florida and NC are not that far apart. It's not like she moved north or to the west-coast.
Daddy, you've got to let go. You made a decision that affected the lives of the whole family for your own reasons. You didn't consider how much she loved Florida, her other family members living there, her friends, the climate, and the beautiful beaches. She gave-up a lot and had no choice; because you decided what was best for everyone. Now she's an adult, and she decides what's best for her and her family.
She's not ungrateful just because she doesn't want what you want. As a a child, you had authority and responsibility over her; but once your child is grown-up, it's their lives. If you want to keep them in yours; respect their decisions, and look forward to vacationing in the Sunshine State when you visit. It's absolutely lovely. Milder winters, orange and lemon trees in your backyard, and gorgeous palm trees!
The two states are entirely different. She wasn't ungrateful, she was unhappy being transplanted against her will.
Don't you dare try to make anyone believe you always did everything your parents wanted you to do. The only reason you may have moved is because they were no longer alive. Different times, different lives, different values.
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female
reader, Ciar +, writes (24 March 2018):
 Huh?
So, your daughter is supposed to spend the rest of her life as an indentured servant to thank you for moving to North Carolina because it suited YOU?
Where are your parents? Didn't you leave someone behind when you moved from Florida? If your parents aren't around then don't they have siblings you should be looking after?
No, you should not be outraged. You can be if you want to be, you can be sad or feel whatever you want to feel but you don't have a case against your daughter.
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (24 March 2018):
 No, adult children are no longer "yours" to raise, to keep around and to dictate what YOU want.
I moved from Europe to the US then to Germany, then back to the US. My parents were still in Europe. My dad still is. And it's been 20 years.
MY life is MINE. Your daughter's life is HERS. Like yours is yours.
You can still visit.
When your kids were kids YOU the adult, YOU made the choice to move to NC for what YOU felt was a better life. Now that your daughter is grown up she might NOT feel that NC is the only place that can give HER a better life.
You can no longer control what she does. She needs to find her OWN path.
Why should you be outraged? Because she wants to live her life as SHE chooses? You CHOSE to move. She might want OTHER choices.
You need to let her spread her wings or at some point she will CUT you off and you are left with NO contact what so ever.
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