A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi everyone,I'm in a relationship with a guy(19) that I have known for 5 years(I'm 20). We started dating about a month ago and everything has been great. Well , last night we had sex for about 20 minutes. He came after 10 minutes and continued to have sex with me until I did too (which was considerate of him). I mean not a lot of guys are willing to do that. Anyway, we were lying in bed and he tells me that he needs to work on not coming so fast and that he doesn't use "it" so often. I thought that was kind of odd that he would tell me something like that, but I just didn't say anything. So then he asked me a question. His question was "What does an orgasm for a woman feel like?". All I was thinking was "How the heck am I going to explain to him what an orgasm feels like ?". I have never had a guy ask me this and be so straight forward with me after having intercourse. He doesn't know much about sex and the first time we did , it didn't really seem he had much experience. Do you think there's a chance that he was a virgin before he met me? Ladies, has a guy ever asked you a question like that? I'm happy with him , it's just that I'm more into wild sex and he seems like more of the "make love" kind of guy. One more thing is that we barely have anything in common, except for our sense of humor. Do opposites really attract? I mean people look for a partner that shares the same interests as them. Anyway, I'm confused. I would appreciate any advice on what to do, even if it's just one sentence. Thank you
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2013): OP you're only barely at the start of this relationship, you can't possibly judge a person based on having sex once. Hell I'd probably have lost out on a lot of relationships if I was judged that way.
I have more sexual experience than you'll probably ever have OP and I can tell you it can take time for two people to find a sexual rhythm together. The answers to all your questions are simply a matter of time and experimentation with him.
As for asking questions about it, if you're old enough to be having sex together then you should mature enough to talk about it too without thinking it's "icky" or it making you uncomfortable. Communication is everything in a relationship.
Plus OP he basically just asked you so he can make sure he's great for you sexually, that's a very good sign, it means he wants to make sure he gives you pleasure too. You really don;t want to end up with a guy who doesn't care about that, or guy that isn't willing to learn.
OP just go with the flow, answer his questions if you can and you'll find out all the answers to your questions as time goes by. OP you're just experiencing the mystery that makes the early dating stages so fun, finding out all these things as you go along is really fun to do, so just sit back and enjoy it.
A
male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (6 March 2013):
 This will be a disaster. Opposites do attract but in key aspects like religion job type etc not interests. I know your culture. Dont put on a face and pretend he's satisfying you and pleased you. If hes not making love the way you like it then there's no reason to be with him. Be honest with him and tell him you want a man with more experience. He'll have to take it like a man and if he doesn't then he has a lot of maturing to do.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (6 March 2013):
 Wow, you really sound annoyed by his innocent question. There are no words to describe an orgasm. He is asking it because he wants to be in tune with you. An orgasm feels like pleasurable waves. It feels like it's overflowing with nectar. I do not feel this question is out of place at all. It is one of the intimate pillow talks. Sex sometimes turns me into a mushy silly person. I forget my identity for a while. When you think about it, talking and hugging after sex is much better than rolling off to sleep facing away from you.
For some people, opposites attract. For some, they are very particular and demand that their partners are the same as them.
You want an experienced guy who has a thing or two to teach you, and a dominant personality too. A guy who knows what he is doing and does not reveal any weaknesses. You prefer mystery over connecting.
I don't think you are having sexual problems. He's telling you he came fast because he wants you know he cares about satisfying your needs, and he is not selfish. He wants you to think he has the potential to last longer.
Some people prefer open communication in bed, rather by guessing which leads to misunderstandings.
As for common interests, anyone could do nature walks, fine dining and movies. I don't worry so much as long as they don't get addicted to any activity and totally neglecting me.
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