A
male
age
41-50,
*ukeandjess
writes:I am 26 and my partner is 20 are we ready to get engaged???We have been seeing each other for about 5 months now, and i have never felt as strongly for someone as i do her, we have been living together for about 3 months now and over come jealous ex`s people trying to split us and money issues as well. I think we have been through enough to know i can see my self with her for a life time! But i do worry about others perceptions of it to early?I am def traditional in some aspects as i would have to ask her dad for his permission, i dont belive in engagements for years and years maybe 18month max engagement, i just need some sound advice from a few people please :s
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engaged, jealous, money Reply to this Question
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female
reader, BigSis +, writes (17 September 2008):
 Oh My God, you two...get a room!! LoL!!
This is great, and so sweet, does this mean the cupid team can go out and buy hats for the wedding then?
Congratulations on your love Luke and Jess, Jess and Luke, Juke and Less... may you be forever happy.
: )
Love BigSis
xXx
A
male
reader, lukeandjess +, writes (17 September 2008):
lukeandjess is verified as being by the original poster of the questionDammit jess you were not supposed to see this, dam internet browser saavin stuff lol!!
of course i am sure just good to see what people outside of our life think remember we live in cornwall and everyone knows everyone so cant ask!!
yeah i see what your saying but just wanted to make double sure and i was sure when i asked and i am even more sure now baby Love you xoxoxoxoxox
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A
female
reader, JessAndLuke +, writes (17 September 2008):
Awww...Luke!!!Of course we're ready sweetheart but we're just not prepared. Like some of the other's have said 'why rush'? I know you're the one for me so you don't need to worry! I think we should start saving as soon as though so that we can have more options for the big day! Aww you're so sweet hunny and I wish you wouldn't worry! If you're asking this question to all these people are you sure you're ready! Love you xx
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A
male
reader, daletom  +, writes (16 September 2008):
I wrote an answer to your question in the thread "Should we get engaged?" at [ http://www.dearcupid.org/question/should-we-get-engaged.html ].
I'd say you're taking things a bit out of order by living together before you even talk about engagement, marriage, futures together, etc. ESPECIALLY since you claim to be "traditional"!
Apart from that, I don't think you're necessarily rushing things. My wife and I were engaged within 3 months of meeting, although we wrote to each other for over 3 months before we ever met in person. We were married one year plus two weeks after our first face-to-face meeting. We were both 23 when we married, and are still married (to each other!) over 30 years later. Some older acquaintances, whom we both respected for their wisdom, thought our courtship of just over a year (not counting the 3-letters-a-week time) was a bit on the short side.
I asked permission from my wife's father before I proposed to her. Yes, it's embarrassing and awkward but it DOES make an impression!
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (16 September 2008):
You could talk about engagement and marriage but I agree with you about not getting engaged and then staying that way for years and years. What is the point?
Also you should definitely ask her dad's permission. My hubbie did that and it meant so much to the family that he did. Plus it's so romantic!
However, most relationships last for about 3 years, that is how long the first flush of love hormones last for. If you look on this site then you'll see lots of questions from people saying "we have been together 2 to 4 years and now I don't love him any more."
So I would enjoy living together and be together and make plans and even start a fund for the wedding but don't get engaged / married so soon into the relationship. I say this because once you are married, you start thinking about kids, and once you've had them, you are stuck if suddenly you discover the relationship has run its course.
Give it a couple of years and have fun.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (16 September 2008):
 Five months isn't very long and she is very young, Dad's permission might be hard to come by. What's the rush anyway?
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A
female
reader, Ches +, writes (16 September 2008):
Honestly, I think its way too early to even be thinking about engagement. I've been with my boyfriend for 8 months now and we love each other very much and like you we overcame jealous people trying to split us up (sometime its was nasty gossip) and now we are buying a business together but I wouldn't want to be engaged just yet. Both you and your girlfriend are still learning stuff about each other and understanding each other I would leave it until at least another year that way then you can do it in style.
As contradicting as this may sound if you feel ready then no one can stop you but it has to be felt by both sides otherwise your heading for disapointment and I don't want that.
Hope this is of some sort of help.
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