A
female
age
36-40,
*oil
writes:I met this guy almost 3 moths ago online. When we met he had recently just had a major surgery on his spine. When we met and talked about what we are looking for he mentioned his next relationship will be with his best friend. Due to his surgery we have found it hard to be intimate with each other and have talked about him getting betterFirst. We hang out often a few nights a week, we get along great. He was married for two years and was only really single for about half a year before he was injured. His biggest complaint about his marriage was she used to try and tell him what to do. I know he is worried I could become like that. When we talk, part of the time he will talk about how he is single and he can do whatever he wants. Then part of the time he talks about us and how good of friends we are becoming, and how we should get a hotel and go on vacation. Are we just becoming friends? Are we more than friends? Some times it seems like more and than others like just friends.
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female
reader, poil +, writes (5 May 2014):
poil is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWe have we have been intimate and every now and then we do casts it's just a guess becoming less frequent he did mention recently that even if we don't end up in a relationship you still does want to be friends I guess right now friends is exactly what we are
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2014): Here's a hint:
"When we met and talked about what we are looking for he mentioned his next relationship will be with his best friend."
He hasn't been single that long, and he is still recovering from surgery. He will and should take his time before getting too deeply involved in a new romantic-relationship. A relationship has a lot of demands he must be willing and able to meet.
Physical intimacy may be a challenge. He may still be in recovery; but I think he is more concerned about his performance, and leery of discomfort. You can still enjoy intimacy if you're careful. There are many positions and ways to satisfy a partner who is physically impaired.
That issue may hinder whether you'll be sexually-compatible. Sex is a very important expression of your feelings in a romantic relationship. So you must allow the friendship to grow and see how he expresses his feelings toward you. If he tries to be romantic in anyway, that will be the sign you're looking for. If he has never tried to kiss you, hold your hand, or caress you; he just may not be romantically attracted to you.
Continue seeing him in order to see what develops. Patience may be necessary. You've already expressed to him what you want.
In fact, patience is necessary in all blossoming or potential relationships. Just don't let your feelings get ahead of his. Stay on the same page.
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