A
female
age
36-40,
*k88
writes: Okay, so I'm going to start this question by saying this... I'm 21, and this is only my second serious relationship ever. Anyway, I started dating a woman (I'm also a woman) in April. We hit it off right away. We were madly in love with each other and couldn't keep our hands off one another. We were talking all the time, and most of our time was spent together. We were having sex nearly every day, sometimes more than once a day. In July, we got an apartment together, and things were still pretty normal until about the end of August. After that, things started changing. Once we were settled in, she stopped having sex with me. Now we only have it maybe once a week if I'm lucky. She goes through my phone and texts without asking, but if I try to go through hers, all hell breaks loose. I trust her, or at least I hope I can trust her, but what's the big deal about it? If I let her look at my stuff (because I definitely don't have anything to hide), why can't I do the same? And on top of that, I'm the only one taking any kind of initiative around the apartment. I clean, I cook, I do our laundry, I run her bath water when she asks me, I rub her back when it's hurting, I walk to the store when she's hungry for something we don't have... I bend over backwards for her because I love her. And I don't think she feels the same way about me at all. She's constantly making me feel inadequate. She's quick to point out my faults. And yet I still love her. Just as much as I did whenever we got together. She still tells me all the time that she loves me, and she's sorry for being so rude and awful sometimes. What's wrong with me? And an even better question, what's wrong with her? Does it sound like she's cheating on me? Or are we just falling out of love?
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female
reader, melanie0083 +, writes (20 September 2009):
I have the tendency to do that to my boyfriend...but I'm not cheating and I love him the same as I always have. I guess for me it came from him putting me on a "pedal stool" and basically spoiling me. Then later I started taking advantage of it and wasn't appreciative at all by the things he's done. By her apologizing, she is accepting her faults and is a good sign she feels bad about it and will make an effort to change. Think of it more like a bad habit you have to break.
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