A
female
age
41-50,
*ixieGwen
writes:I've been seein this guy nonstop for a month. He calls daily - sometimes 2x a day. He told me at the beginning that hes not seein anyone else and hopes the same of me. I'm not either - he knows this.Well I was curious by this point as to what we are (even though we feel like a couple). So I said "Seeing we're not dating other people, are we just dating or are we a couple?" i didnt know how to word it and thats pretty much how it came out. Anyway he said I thought dating + being a couple are the same? (so i guess he assumes we're a couple) I said theyre not(well to me theyre not). He then went on a tangent saying that he likes what we have/are. Then said "oh..Are u just wondering what we are so u know what to introduce me as?" "what would u call us?" I said id call him my bf if i introduced him but dont know now.. i could just say the guy im dating (i said it jokingly) he laughed. He also is down with the fact ill call him bf and said "Whatever you want honey bun, sweet ums, babydoll" He also said that he doesnt date more than one person at a time - hes only dating me.It also seemed like he wanted to know what i thought first before giving me a solid answer.He then mentioned that "bf/gf" label might make us rush it or some crap like that and this is coming from a guy who shortly after met me decided that he wants me to move in w/ him (once he moves out) hes currently taking care of his mother. He also assumed by me asking what we were that I wanted to date other guys.I assured him i dont..i just was curious as to what we were. I felt stupid for asking because i expected a simple - easy to understand answer..and its like he got flustered with the question and also seemed surprised as to the fact i was asking - like it was obvious what we are. Hes super indecisive..anytime i ask him something - he has to know how i feel about it first (We were supposed to go to a bbq recently - i told him we should wait until next wk. he gave me a list of reasons why it should be this wk..so i planned for this wk and then when we met up again and talked about it - he said next wk is better and then gave me a list of reasons why.) WTF?Qs I have are.. are we couple? (Im guessing we are..but i dunno)Hes super indecisive - how do i deal with that? and he calls me daily but sometimes fail to do so - im guessin hes comfy with me..but does that mean hes losing interest? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, PixieGwen +, writes (17 July 2010):
PixieGwen is verified as being by the original poster of the question well im sure hes nervous about committing or putting a label on it. hes divorced with two kids and is currently goin thru a custody battle.
normally he calls the next day (if he forgot to call back the night before) and we have a short convo..and then the following day/wknd - he has his kids.i know yesterday he was gettin alot together/doin laundry alot/preparing - hes havin his kids this wknd. he usually doesnt call me when hes with em..
we talked about getting together soon - first he said today and then said that we wouldnt be able to hang long today..so sunday would be better (if the kids get picked up early enough) but definitely monday so i figure i should hear from him sun night or monday afternoon.. ill probably call - just so i know whats up with our plans so i know whether or not to make other plans.im tryin not to take him not calling me today personally..but even though its a routine of him calling me daily.. i shouldnt let this one time bother me. its just so hard. but the anxiety medicine helped lol
A
female
reader, PixieGwen +, writes (17 July 2010):
PixieGwen is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell neither of us is dating other people.He seems to think dating and being a couple are the same thing - so im guessing we're a couple. You're right.. im trying not to come across clingy. I tried to make my point & make my question clear - i thought it was..
So i guess all in all we're a couple.. i guess i just wanted to hear " yes youre my girlfriend".
Im a lil bothered at the moment. He normally calls daily. didnt call me back last night.Hasnt called today.Saw him on Facebook - so i said hey whats up & shortly after he signed off..so a lil later I called and I got the machine. I left a short msg - "just seein how u are, saw u online - tried sending a msg but u signed off..gimme a call when u can." He had evening classes.shouldve been home by now but hasnt bothered to call. I know he gets his kids tomorrow early - so maybe hes asleep. but i tend to worry when things seem to change. like calling daily to ..missing a couple of days of calling. i took anxiety medicine today knowing that itll help and i worry about stupid crap.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2010): Sounds to me like he is into you but he either doesn't know how or doesn't want to label it, maybe a fear of commitment. I would suggest if everything is going well in all other areas to just go with it, provided your happy and having fun!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2010): You two are the only people who can decide whether or not you're a couple- no one here can answer that for you.
I can tell you it seems like it.
And being indecisive is fairly easy to deal with, what he's exhibiting is being a yoyo. Thisweeknextweekthisweekbleh. He keeps changing it and maybe you should mention that to him in a polite way,"So, first you say this week, then you say next week? I just want to know when we're going to have this bbq. (haha)"
And it seems like he's just comfortable to me.
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