A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Ok, I have been dating my b/f for the past 4 years, and i am going through the 2nd time that I think he's cheating. The first time, he's all of a sudden texting this girl back and forth and talking to her all hours of the night. Every time I asked him about it, of course he just said they are just friends. A few times, we argued so much that he said he would just stop talking to her alltogether, but it took him about 3 times to actually do that. Now for the current situation; about 1 month ago, he went away for about 5 days and I went through his phone when he got back (I just felt like something wasn't right). He had about 6 texts to this girl and they said things like, "I'll be back tomorrow, are you cooking me dinner?", "you fell asleep on me last night, you left me hanging", "you don't need any beauty sleep", etc. So (i'm a little embarassed about this, but here goes) I got the # and called the girl one day and left her a message. I said that I am his g/f and I am trying to plan a surprise birthday party for him, and the he mentioned that you guys are friends, so I wanted to know if you would come (a complete lie). She fell right into my trap, and called my b/f to verify. so, about 10 min. later, he calls back and jumps on me about going through his phone. We argued and I hung up on him. Then she calls me back a few hours later, but I missed the call. She left a message saying "Hi, i dont know if you noticed, but your b/f is not claiming you, so I dont want any hassle or confrontation, so please do not call me again." I called her anyway and said " I know you asked me not to call, but I just needed some clarification on your message". And she told me that she asked if he has a g/f and he said "no". So now I'm heated. Of course, he is denying that he ever had this conversation with her, and I kept catching him texting and calling her behind my back. So one night I was texting her from his phone, but she caught on. Ever since then, she has been texting me stuff about them sleeping together and going out all the time. The problem is, my b/f and I are together 24/7, and I mean 24/7. Even if one of us has to run to the store, the other tags along. So I dont know how they could have slept together or went out. We both work from home, and we usually travel together. (That one week just happened to be an exception). My b/f says she is trying to break us up. But I can't tell which of them is lying, or if they are in on this together. In my mind I know I should just leave my b/f alone, but my heart wants revenge on the both of them. Can someone please give some insight.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2007): If i was you darling, i'd smash his phone into a thousand pieces and kick his arse out of the house!! Too right, you deserve better.
A
female
reader, happytochat  +, writes (18 August 2007):
It may be hard to figure out if they are actually sleeping together or not, but one thing you do knwo for sure is the text messages you read and they alone, stand grounds for breaking up in my opinion. They may not of actually slept together, perhaps they had just been sending each other flirty texts, but now that this girl knows he has a gf and has your number, she wants to break you two up.
The fact that he got so angry about you going through his phone suggests he may be up to something...and he knows he got caught out. Hes swithching the attention of him perhaps cheating you/sending flirty txts to some girl, to being about you going through his phone and 'invading his privacy'....when thats not the real issue. Tell him that if he had nothing to hide then eh wouldnt be so nagry and upset...let him know hes welcome to go through your ophoen. Ask him if you both live together, whats the big deal about going through his phone? Unless of course he has something he doesnt want you to see....
there is no way he can make a justifcation for that without sounding like hes up to something...
honestly darling, i would leave your bf. he sounds like hes up to no good :( which is unfortunate and im sure u r very hurt, but think about having a bf who you dont have to ever worry about, one who you can trust...dont u wnat that sooo much more? well u can, u just first have to end htis relationship.
goodluck :) let us know how it goes.
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A
female
reader, hlskitten  +, writes (17 August 2007):
 Hi
Ok the fact that you have seen the messages to her on his phone i am wondering if you are in denial & letting him talk you round?
Ok so you are together 24/7 is he talking to her on the net/web cam?
The txt messages and their content would have me moving on to be honest. I couldnt stand the thought of being laughed about behind my back.
Whats going on, is a mystery, but there is no way i would be buying the fact shes the cause of all the trouble. He told you before he wouldnt be txting her anymore, but has gone back on that.
Hes having a childish fling, whether its in person, on line or by txt. Its all still pointing to betrayal & i wouldnt be letting sleeping dogs lie with this myself.
I hope you sort it out.
C xxxxx
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