A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have a friend who is 23 and lives in south USA.She is married and has two kids; a girl who is almost 2 and a bog who is 1.She is a stay at home mum and her ex druggie husband works full time in mcdonalds. However she often sends the kids over the her mums who lives across the road because her husband doesn't want to take care of screaming kids after he gets home from work. Neither of their children were accidentally conceived and they mainly live off the government.The problem is her kids are always getting sick and ending up in hospital with throat and ear infections or the flu and severe dehydration. It seems once a month one of them is in hospital and then the other one is. I am concerned that she isn't feeding her kids the right food or drink. She has loads of pictures on facebook of her eating out with her kids at taco bell and all those other American restaurant chains. She has also told be that her husband puts Mountain Dew in the kids sippy cups! She thinks its funny because he drinks so much of it, now the kids do. She seems oblivious that it is terribly bad for adults let alone babies!She is really a lovely person who has had a lot of trouble in her life. And we haven't spoken in a while, but I'm so concerned for her poor children that keep getting sick.Could there be other reasons for their constant illnesses apart from their poor diet? Am I a bad person for thinking that they are being taken care of well?Is there any way I could help?
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male
reader, baddogbj  +, writes (20 November 2010):
 Yes, they are being bad parents.
But, if you try to tell them what to do they will hate you.
If you lived close by then you could help by occassionally volunteering to look after the children, making sure that they get properly fed and by acting as a positive role model but from a distance it is very tough.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for all your advice everyone.
Anonymous, I was never intending to inform the state. I don't believe they are intentionally not caring for their children properly, but seem to lack the education to feed them food that infants their age should be eating to fight off common illnesses.
I want to help them rather than punish them, I don't think its their fault, they probably weren't taught healthy eating. She is very overweight and her husband has terrible acne.
I was thinking of sending an email with healthy eating advice for children and how it can keep them healthy, however I'm not sure how i could send it without seeming like an interfering cow :/
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2010): I seem to feel there is some sort of jealousy here,since them kids are regulary monitored and seen by her mother and others very frequently,surely they would have noticed if there was cause for concern,make sure you have concrete evidence before getting the state involved as this can ruin lives
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A
female
reader, angelbaby92  +, writes (19 November 2010):
I don't think your a bad person for caring. i live in the us and i know that when children frequently visit the hospital child services are notified. yea children do get sick but unless there is a medical problem they shouldn't be in the hospital that much. its wonderful that you care that much. i hope everything works out for you and them
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A
female
reader, petina1 +, writes (19 November 2010):
 I know if kids are going in to hospital in the UK theres a procedure for the child protection to keep an eye on things. I don't know how it works in America. They look like they are being brought up on junk but that's still no reason to be concerned,Mountain dew is another name for cola or pepsi, which many kids in the UK drink but over here in England concerns would be if they were obese. I also know in America that if someone smokes in the house it's classed as child abuse as smoking can cause alsorts of illnesses in childhood especially ear infections/sore throats which have been correlated to this. The thing is there's different things that cause different concerns wherever you live. The only thing that I can suggest is make an anonymous call to the local childrens authority in your friends area because you are concerned for their welbeing. Then at least you know that you did your best and did not overlook the things you are concerned about regarding the childrens welfare. Just to put your mind at rest.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (19 November 2010):
Most of these illnesses can be put down to lack of nutrients. Even such things as colds and flu are better fought when a child's body has proper nutrients in. If they're getting that ill/dehydrated, it's probably down to a bad diet. And as we all know, children basically live in hospital. Hopefully, someone will have noticed.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks caring guy.
She has lots of friends and family which they regularly see. Surely one of them most of noticed if they weren't caring for the kids properly. And the hospital?
Her son is in hospital now with mild bronchitis, coughing, vomiting and a high fever due to a virus. And hes on a drip because of dehydration. And her daughter is at home with a cold.
I am worried that I am overreacting because kids DO get sick. But the frequency of hers seems unusual to me.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (19 November 2010):
I would say that there is something significantly wrong, to the point where both parents need to be reported for child abuse. No children should be getting sick that often, and her husband sounds like a shocking father to be honest.
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