A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Here's a girl that I liked, and for months, she's showed me those signs:-she giggles and laughs at me (even at things I say which are not hilarious)-she gave me a thumbs-up twice two separate times just before exams started-she would sometimes make eye contact with me, and then break eye contact, back and forth either by looking down or turning away.-once, I fell asleep in a class. someone tapped me on the shoulder, since I didn't know who it was, when I woke up, she was in front of me, smiling and waving at me.-she would just stare at me till I come closer, and when I do, she'd just smile at me and say hi to me.-doesn't usually speak to me or approach me in public, but when she does, it's usually like a whisper to the point that I have to get closer to listen to her. but on the internet, her 'shyness barrier' is broken.-i sometimes write on her wall or message her, either she doesn't reply or she replies with responses that are a paragraph or two, in which the wall-to-wall/message threads go off tangents, along with random emoticons.-She'd reply all the time to comments I make on a discussion board. Even if they are just some kind of random nonsense.-For the record, I hardly know her and have no mutual friends with her.-Whenever I open a door for her, she always puts her head down and says 'thank you' in a shy voice.Am I imagining those signs, or does she really like me? If she does or doesn't, why do girls do things like that?I sent her a message two months ago, but she didn't read it or respond to it. She used to write on my wall, and I don't know if there's a way how to impress her through Facebook? I'm not going to see her for a year because she's going abroad, and I just want to keep in contact with her.She probably doesn't check her messages (unless if I told her to), doesn't go on Facebook that often (maybe once in a blue moon) and I'd just like to write on her wall without creeping her out. I don't have her screen names or anything, I tried sending an email to her before, but that didn't get through.So I'd like to contact her, but the thing is, I chicken out at the last moment and don't go with my plans because I'm afraid that it might creep her out. What should I do? Any suggestions?
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (17 July 2009):
 I think at this point, you could say something like, "you are so funny. I really enjoy talking to you. Would you like to hang out and maybe even go out on a date? Like this weekend?"
You won't ever know for sure if she likes you if one of you doesn't stick his or her neck out and risk rejection. I hate to tell you, but there will be a lot of rejection and loss in your life. Just because someone says 'no' doesn't mean that you aren't a great guy. It's just that she wasn't the right girl for you at this minute at this place.
Ask her what kind of things she looks for in a boyfriend. Then ask her if you have any of those things. She'll understand that you're interested, and this will give her time to process this information. Don't get upset or discouraged if she doesn't immediately say, "I like you like that too!" Give her a little time to get used to the idea. THEN make sure you ask her for that date.
Good luck.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the question1) I don't see her that often in real life, so I chat her up on internet.
2) Well she was speaking to another guy once, but when I came, she immediately ignored him and started to speak to me.
3) I know that she could be shy, but I don't intimidate her that much. Do I?
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (9 July 2009):
She sounds painfully shy or you might intimidate her in real life, thus she finds it easier to 'chat' online. Why don't you try to talk to her again in real life? Or is it that you've only got the internet as a way to reach her?
I'm not convinced these signs indicate a desire to get to know you better. She could be like this with other good-looking guys too, just being shy.
Look at it this way, what do you have to lose by talking to her? Or sending her a message? What is the downside and what's the upside? If you can live with the downside, should it happen, then I don't think you have anything to lose.
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