A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:My wife continues to buy weed and smoke it behind my back. She cannot wait till we are together to share in the stuff that we buy together. She hides it, she hides her useage, and she hides her connection and of course when and where. I see nothing wrong with getting high. But to think you have to get high before work or everyday before noon or even 5:00.She just can’t wait for me. After discussing it with her 8 months ago she promised to stop. She stopped for 2 weeks and continues to sneak around. She has no idea that I know that she has continued to miss lead me.I think because of this she gets lazy doing housecleaning, makes mistakes paying bills, and is addicted to playing computer games.Because of this and her laziness I have found it hard to be nice to her. This is not like me but for some reason all of this is finally taking a toll on me.I do all the laundry, yard work, garbage detail, make a grocery list,dishes,make the bed daily, get our child up for school, fix him breakfast make sure he has lunch money daily, school work, cell phone etc.(she of course is sleeping)and I cook 80 % of the time. She rarely helps me. Sometime she will just sit and watch TV while I am doing house chores, other times it's just killing time by smoking a cigarette while I am busting my ass.Sex has gone from 4 to 6 times a week to once maybe twice.She has taken days off to go clothes shopping and bought nothing. Can’t find anything she likes in a whole day at a Mall! Never heard of anything so rare.Comes home from work with her wedding ring in her purse, She says her hands swelled up.Now she is getting ready to go away for 2 weeks for work for the 1st time. And at first I had no problem with it, as the days go by I am getting somewhat upset and worried. At first the co worker was female, and then changed due to her schuled of when she can leave it is now a male. Never met him. She says he is gay. Really gay. Flamboyantly gay. Should I worry?Every night and a whole weekend in between for 12 days, just the 2 of them, hotel,bar,nightclub, and who ever else they meet at the out of state office. She has been hanging with another gay male friend whom I have met but haven't made a decision on if I care for him or not.She doesn't talk, she doesn't listen. I could tell her something and 20 min later she will ask something that I already told her. Where’s your head at when I'm talking? This happens daily.She also deletes all history and trace on the computer daily before I return home. I could go one with the nit picking. But this is long enough. Any suggestions or opinions would be appreciated.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, baddogbj  +, writes (5 June 2009):
 Yes.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2009): Wow, why do you love her? You are seriously getting the short end of the stick. I am sure all the pot smoking has something to do with it as it is a de-motivator, but why is she smoking so much? Where does she get the money? Pot is not cheap! I am at a loss as to where to start with her. I can't understand why you are still there.You two need to do some serious talking.....don't ambush her but instead make a date of it.....take her out to a restaurant and let her know even though it is a date, you would like to talk about some household issues while you are there. Do it in a romantic setting so her defenses are down and approach her in a calm and quiet way. Have a list of things like what you just told us.As far as her business trip, I have been on many and they are not near as fun as what you describe. If this man is truly gay, you have nothing to worry about...but that is the question, is he really gay?There are many women out there that would love to have a man like you, so don't stay this way the rest of your life!
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