A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I really need outside insight on my relationship. All advice is appreciated. I'm a lesbian in a relationship with another woman. We just rekindled in June after not being together for a year. We had dated 3 years before I left in 2013. Anyways my girlfriend works for a small business owner who only have 4 employees including my girlfriend. One is a elderly male security guard. One is part time older male retiree and the other is my girlfriend and last is this other female employee. Lately I noticed something and brought it to my girlfriend attention about this woman. First off this woman knows my lady likes women and my girlfriend is very protective of her sexual orientation and who only tell people she truly felt a connection with. Second my girlfriend constantly talks about her. Every night she wants to call her stupid for this or that. And I listen and I've realized my girlfriend actually know quite a lot about this woman and her personal life. My girlfriend rants on her a lot. Just the other day I told my girlfriend I'm worried she is crushing on this woman. She talks about her practically every night. She knows so much about her personal life. It's like she gets jealous over this woman decision making if she wants to drink all day or have random sex. My girlfriend got jealous when a guy complimented this female coworker and told her she looks very young for her age while telling my girlfriend she looked older. And when I say my girlfriend gets jealous it's because she allows these things to upset her. Why should she care. Please give me your opinion is my girlfriend cheating or having an emotional relationship with this woman?
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co-worker, crush, jealous, lesbian Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Dionee'  +, writes (5 August 2014):
 It seems like it's nothing to bother with. She's been talking to this woman and getting jealous at certain things while ranting on about how she basically hates that this happened and that happened . . . It seems a bit petty to me how your girlfriend is behaving. Perhaps you shouldn't look too deep into this as you may just start a problem that really isn't there. Unless something really odd happens or you find some odd evidence, I doubt you've any reason to worry. You never know what could happen in future (not necessarily with this woman) but it's safe to say you can relax for now.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2014): I wouldn't jump to conclusions, but it does sound like she has a crush on the other woman. Did you have fidelity issues before your split? If not, then just trust her to be faithful as she has been. Crushes will come along, but won't necessarily end a relationship. If you are getting jealous of the attention this other woman gets, distance yourself a little and make yourself a little more interesting. If you run, she will chase you instead.
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A
female
reader, PrincessRiches  +, writes (5 August 2014):
 Heya,It honestly sounds to me like she's just become good friends with this woman. She can still form close friendships with other females, can't she? I get where you are coming from about your gf banging on about this other girl, but surely, if she were gonna cheat, she'd be a lot more discreet. She probably would want to keep any feelings she had for her well away from you, so she probably would consciously NOT talk about her if this was the case. I rant on endlessly to my hubby about my girlfriends, and it doesn't mean I fancy them! As for her jealousy when a guy told this girl she looked young, it was probably more about the fact he said she looked older! Id have been RAGING, if it was me and someone said I looked older, it wouldn't be because I was fancied the girl. Her attitude towards this girl getting drunk/sleeping around is probably not jealousy, but more concern for her friend's behaviour. I think she's just developed a good friendship, but very often with friendships, people can become overly emotionally involved and develop feelings towards a friend. Give her the benefit of the doubt, but do watch out for this. My advice would be to accept their friendships, but always be wary of red flags that suggest there could be more going on. And you could tell her that while you have no issue with her being friends with other women, you'd really appreciate it if she didnt bang on so much, if it makes you feel uncomfortable. Hope this helps:) x
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