A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I often ask myself,am i BIOLOGICALLY lesbian?it doesn't really matter because i am EMOTIONALLY straight and have a boyfriend and love him more than my life ! but:1)my first experience was with a girl when i was really too young ,10 or 11,and so was she.i did get horny but we didn't DO anything .and moreover i didn't realize what i was doing at all!though we felt its something that needs to be done in privacy and something shameful lol2)since then i get SEXUALLY aroused when i think about /watch porn of girls doing something,with my boyfriend i feel LOVE and when we do it ,i get overwhelmed with emotions,and enjoy that !however ,i don't feel "horny" 3)i don't get orgasm from penetration,but from a different way when i please myself.4)i think i'm allergic to semen .if we have unprotected sex,i get a burning sensation and reddish inflammation down there for days together,which becomes alright after drinking loads of water and applying lubricants for about 5 days!does this mean that some girls are meant to be biologically /sexually aroused and satisfied by a girl ?i really dont know why am i asking because i would never ever feel LOVE for a girl.and i'd be disgusted if i did anything with a girl.i'm just curious if any other girls have such a feeling.??
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (13 November 2011):
 "Here's the plan. If you want any sexual contact with me, you will have to wear a condom. This includes oral sex and intercourse. As you well know, single females cannot buy them easily here. So, it's on you to do this, if you want sexual intimacy.
"If you can't/won't/don't provide the condoms for my health and preventing pregnancy, then I can't/won't/shan't be able to have any type of sexual contact with you."
Your sentence: 'obviously i cannot tell him "buy condoms,we'l do it today."cos that feels weird!i think thats his job' Of course you can tell him to buy condoms. I'll tell you what weird is, weird is explaining to your family why you have an STD because you felt weird about demanding basic sexual health precautions.
Don't be shy, diffident or reluctant to expect and demand consideration for your health and well-being. If you cannot stand up for yourself, well, then maybe you aren't ready for an adult sexual relationship and perhaps you might consider giving that a break until you work up the nerve to demand considerate treatment.
You have to take care of YOU here. This is your health and your life. Don't let some shyness prevent you from speaking up and asking for what is fair.
A
female
reader, Miamine  +, writes (10 November 2011):
 NO GLOVE, NO LOVE... if he doesn't have condoms then don't allow him to touch you. He will learn to get some if he wants to have sex. SEX CAN KILL, embarrassment can't. Tell him to get condoms from a shop far away from his home and then he won't have to see the people again.
Don't worry about liking women or men. It's ok to find other women sexy, and many women have experiences when they are young before they start having sex. All this is normal. It doesn't make you a lesbian. Lesbian's do not have sex with men.
Allergy to semen.. yep, I have this too, and it's distressing. If you love your guy, your supposed to love his sperm, but it doesn't always work this way. Try to see a sympathetic kind doctor if you can. What helped me was, always go to the toilet before and after sex. Always wash your vagina after sex. Do not use perfumes in your bath. Check your diet and make sure you do not have too many diary foods like milk and cheese. Make sure that his diet is good too. A vegetarian diet with lots of fruit, vegetables, rice, beans and grains is best.
But you should be using condoms and therefore the sperm shouldn't touch you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2011): @chigirl and so very confused., first of all thanks a lot for your concern!i dont know how to explain.but anyways i hope you get it.1)i put my country as china because i didn't want that girl who happens to be my cousin and knows i use this site to come across and read.i'm from india and things here are very different its not socially acceptable for a girl of good character to buy condoms people see it as slutty .and usually the boyfriends and husbands alone buy it/have it which also they have to hide from their family (if they are unmarried)because premarital sex is also a big deal!the morning after pills are the only thing which a girl can feel comfortable to ask for in a shop!if a girl is buying condoms it kind of gives an impression that she is having casual sex and not in a stable relationship as otherwise the man would do it!my boyfriend himself wouldn't let me go get one...he made me throw away even the unused pill because its risky if my mom /dad happen to find it by chance .i wanted to keep it 'just in case' for the next time if we have a condom tear or something.and since its also expensive due to heavy taxes imposed on the morning after pill in our country .i dont know how it is elsewhere though...but he just forced me to throw it away cos if my parents find it that would be the end of our relationship! because in my social circle,i'm not old enough to even marry him.so i'd have to wait until 24(when my parents begin to search for a groom) to tell our parents about us!and condoms are impossible for me to take risk and hide at home.because pre marital relationship itself is a big deal .and there's no way anyone lets their parents know that they are sexually active until its obvious after people get arranged married/lovers who are ready to marry.even those who are in love are expected to abstain as the previous generations have never been in relationships-before-marriage they would never understand our natural urges that we get if we fall in love.so all i can do is tell him to have them in store ..its a LDR right now and he comes once in a while to meet .we don't regularly need them but i expect him to keep it ready when he knows we are meeting after a long time (he calls me home only when no ones home and he knows we are gonna do it..or else we would meet up outside) ..since he's staying alone while he's in the other city he could easily keep it with him without any risk and bring it here when he visits home !moreover,he himself is shy buying condoms if there are females at the counter!but atleast men don't have any "sign" to show if they are married or not.while girls of all religions in our country who are married wear a special chain. :O
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2011): When you are sexually active it is BOTH you and your partners' responsibility to Use Condoms to prevent STIs, Unplanned/Unwanted Pregnancy as well as other sexual aids to stave off STIs and Pregnancy. Condoms alone do not prevent such cases. 98% to prevent pregnancy?http://www.youngwomenshealth.org/malecontraceptives1.htmlIf you are 'adult/responsible/accountable' enough to have sex than you most certainly are adult/responsible/accountable to be buying condoms, especially if you are dating a 'dumb' sex partner/BF who is so careless of your and his own health.What weak excuse will you and the BF generate if you both transmitted STIs or just as horrid- became pregnant? NO answers/excuses will be sufficient.So get smart and get condoms.Its a small percentage of populace that Indeed suffer from Semen Allergy.You may have an allergic reaction to sperm and it DOES NOT mean you were meant to be Lesbian, it just means there is something in Semen that you are allergic to. Most causes of such an allergic reaction is to the PROTEINS in semen.Its an individual basis that is not race dictated or diet dictated that the variation in protein in a sex partners semen that may have a greater chance of allergic reaction.That you already have admitted to having a food allergy may be a good reason to suspect a semen allergy as most food allergies are protein based as well.http://www.livescience.com/1110-women-allergic-sex.htmlYou may get turned on and excited by the taboo of lesbian imagery/porn but it does not make you a Lesbian. Just like if people have a fetish for sexual stimulus that involves an object, does not make them the object.You have already explained that lust- taboo sex, lesbian porn, and love- sex with your BF are two separate reactions/stimulus.You could get 'horny' with your BF if you allowed yourself but viewing porn privately tends to let the viewer to release inhibitions due to insecurity and lack of self knowledge.As you age, the self imposed behaviours and boundaries of what is acceptable for you to be/act like/behave in the boudoir may ease up and you will find your lust trigger can easily be activated by a healthy, loving, giving BF/sex partner.Also if your Gspot is not properly stimulated, good luck on penetrative orgasms. Most women usually have a greater chance at clitoral stimulus and also just as rare, cervical stimulus.So buying a very good read about orgasms may be of help to you. I personally recommend, The Multi Orgasmic Couple: Sexual Secrets Every Couple Should Know.http://www.amazon.com/Multi-Orgasmic-Couple-Sexual-Secrets-Should/dp/0062516140Peace Out!
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (9 November 2011):
 OP, why aren't you buying your own condoms? Why do you say your boyfriend is the dumb one with lame excuses when your excuse for not buying them yourself, even when you too know you will be having sex, is.. well what exactly? What is your excuse for not buying them? Take responsibility, don't blame it on your boyfriend.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (9 November 2011):
 yep it sounds like it could be allergies to what he's eating!
AS for condoms... go buy some yourself and carry them with you... better safe than sorry...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2011): and one more thing!OP here again,i dont know if you could answer this but just incase you have the knowledge..might sound weird but something just hit me !@SO VERY CONFUSED, you said it might be something he's eating,i'm a born veggie,ie. vegetarian through generations and we usually dont marry among non vegetarians..i have never eaten meat in life..while he is traditionally a non vegetarian.could it be that his semen does not suit on me because of that!?
Do racial differences cause such a problem?
i do have a bad reaction to non veg, and even egg in cakes causes tummy troubles and digestive problems for me
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2011): hey girls :) i'm the OP .thanks a lot ..!!! i feel like i'm not alone at all!this helped :)
@so very confused, we usually use condoms but twice we did it unprotected on the day i am supposed to get my period..and then i bought an emergency contraceptive to take in case i didn't get it by that day it self and luckily i did .
i don't like taking that risk but my bf is just too dumb sometimes,and he wont keep condoms in store even though he knows that we are going to do it!!!he gives the stupidest excuses like "i didn't feel like going and buying it"
even if he had been out all day
obviously i cannot tell him "buy condoms,we'l do it today."cos that feels weird!i think thats his job.
its the last time ,and im not getting myself in to a situation where i have to take a morning after pill again!anyways thanks so much people :) i know i'm straight now cool!
as for semen allergy i'd have to consult a doc later on !
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (9 November 2011):
Lesbians are not allergic to semen. Some women are sensitive to some men's semen... it happens straight or not.
It could be just your boyfriend or a general allergy or it could be something he's eating...
What are you using for birth control since you are not using condoms?
I do not orgasm from penetration (most women do not)
I am bisexual in that I'm open to and enjoy relationships with women but I prefer my primary relationship to be with a man...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2011): First off, I think as we (girls or maybe even boys..not sure as I am a girl so can only answer on our behalf) are growing up we experiment. I read somewhere years ago that it is very normal for children to experiment with their sexuality. I too when I was young, was curious just like you and had a couple of these situations. Once a girl friend and I kissed. And when I was a little older, I was sleeping with one of my cousins and she fondled me while sleeping. I was wide awake of course but it felt good so let her. Trust me I am not a lesbian by any means. But I was rather curious I guess. As for being allergic to semen. It's funny you mentioned that because I too thought the same and went to my doc about it. He said it was very rare. It is more likely that penetration was too soon for you and you were not quite ready. If you were a bit dry, it will cause irritation. Just make sure you have lots of foreplay and don't penetrate too soon. If it happens when you are well lubricated than maybe talk to your doctor about it.And in agreement with the previous answer, the percentage of women who can orgasm through penetration is very low. I am one of them who has only just experienced it but it isn't often let me tell you. I am 40 and my current partner is the only one who has ever been able to reach that point. But don't let that stress you out. You ARE VERY NORMAL.
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A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (9 November 2011):
Don't make yourself confused. Biologically we are all straight as we are born with reproductive organs. Heterosexuals, if there was a biological heterosexual, wouldn't need reproductive organs, would they...
Your sexuality is linked to your personality and who you are, not your body.
Few women, if any, get an orgasm through penetration.
If you are allergic to semen you need to see your doctor as that can be fatal.
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