A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm 19 and I'm quite inexperienced with dating etc.I met this guy through a friend today, we hadn't actually seen each other before, this was the 1st time. But we have been talking everyday for 3 weeks and have spoken on the phone multiple times.He saw me in a picture with my friend on her blackberry messenger and asked her to ask me if he could have my PIN, so I agreed to it because he was good looking and my friend said he's a nice person...So today I went to his house, I wasn't completely comfortable as I'm a plus-size girl and I am quite conscious of my body sometimes, but we watched a movie at first then chatted etc, and as we were in his room we ended up cuddling. He was a very confident guy, and he was hugging me from the back, stroking my thigh and just gently stroking my arms/back etc, but he didn't make any moves on me which I didn't get, I mean, his face was right next to mine and I know he could tell that I wasn't as confident as him because he was the one taking control.Another thing is, I got to his house for 1pm and I had to leave by 3:30pm. He had previously told me that his dad comes home at 6 but then later mentioned that he actually comes back at 4, so when I asked why he lied he said that he knew if he told me I had to leave by 3:30 I wouldn't have come to his house in the first place after knowing that - I'm not sure if this is true or if he was just trying to get rid of me?What's playing on my mind is the fact that he didn't make any moves (kiss, and there was no way he was shy) and he told me I had to leave by 3:30...Now he knows I'm broke cause I've told him about my financial situation and as he dropped me back to the train station at 3:30, he gave me money for the days travel. I hate taking money off people but he was very persistent. I messaged him, thanking him for the day and he seemed abit weird when he was replying, then when I asked him what he's up to, he said "I'm going to go to sleep now" because he does night shifts at work.. But yet his status is still changing and I asked him over an hour ago - so the fact that he said he's going to sleep when he's not is why I'm still having doubts and think he was trying to get rid of me but I'm not sure.What do you guys make out of it? Am I overthinking things. I don't want to rush a conversation with him about this because we only just met but I do have feelings for him because over the time we've spoken and gotten to know each other, I've been attracted to him. He may be telling the truth about his dad, and he may have not wanted to rush things by kissing me, but I'm genuinely confused cos I've gotten mixed signals.
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female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (10 April 2012):
 I think you are over thinking things right now. He may well be interested in you but you have to remember that you two just met in person for the first time.
The timing issue is a bit odd but perhaps he has a point, would you have come to his home if you knew it was only for a short time?
Why didn't you two meet somewhere halfway, on neutral ground, rather than you making a return train journey? I think that would be more sensible for future dates. It prevents misunderstandings and if things aren't going well, neither of you is stuck in your own home with the other. It makes leaving a lot smoother.
Wait and see if he asks to see you again, this time make it in a public place, have him come for lunch, possibly dinner if things go well but stay out of his bedroom! That sends a very different message than you may be intending.
My guess is he realized you are rather inexperienced and a bit naive and he decided not to take advantage of that. I think that's a good sign. I wonder if he's puzzled why you were so willing to let him make a lot of physical contact with you in his room; that's such a signal to a guy that you are ready and available for more, which on your FIRST meeting, you really shouldn't be doing.
Hold off on telling him about your feelings for him just yet, you two haven't spent enough time in each other's company to really know one another. It's easy to portray a different persona over text messages and phone conversations, while they give you tone of voice and inflections, do not reveal body language.
Just get to know him a bit better. Wait for him to ask you out again, and be sure to have a nice outing on neutral ground ready to suggest to him. Okay?
Good luck!
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