A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My Ex left me about 5 months ago for another woman. He pretty much moved right out of our place and into hers. We were together 6 years. I did what most shocked dumpees do and attempted to get him back for about 2 weeks or so. Went pretty much NC ever since.He has been texting me about every 2 weeks since he left. (Seriously, this has been going on 5 months!?!?) I have not responded to any of his texts with the exception of one time when I told him I didnt want to be his 'friend' and he should leave me alone. Anyway, yesterday I get yet another text from him that said "I am truely sorry for all I did to you and I hope everything is going well. I miss you {petname}." Of course, I did not respond to this either. This is not the first time he has texted that he misses me. He has also texted pictures that he took of me that he still has saved on his phone?? What do you make of this? Are these texts guilt driven? Is the grass not as green as he thought it would be? I dont understand why he writes these texts knowing I wont respond. Has anyone had a similar situation? How did it end?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2011): He sounds like the kind of guy who can't be alone even if he's in an unhappy relationship, who must have a new relationship as a backup while before he will dump the old one.Obviously he had a new relationship all lined up before he broke up with you. This means he was most likely cheating on you for some time while you were still together. Instead of ending things with you honorably when he was so unhappy, he kept you around while he went fishing for and developed another relationship. He may now be regretting when he found out the grass isn't greener. Maybe things aren't working out in his new relationship so he's doing the same to her as he did to you: trying to line you up as a relationship before he exits his current one, because he's unable to be alone even for one second. What a coward. Just continue to ignore him, or if you want to mess with him say something to ridicule him.
A
male
reader, foolishsage  +, writes (24 February 2011):
 Ugh - not sure why exactly he continues to text you, but I believe that you're doing the right thing by continuing the NC. You're not encouraging him in the least.
Unfortunately, part of what may be driving him to continue to text you is that you don't respond. Some guys want things that they can't have... There are too many possibilities to say why specifically he's texting you still and it can be any of a combination of things. He could miss you. He could feel guilty. He could want you back. He could just want a sense of closure and feel that he needs you to accept his apology. He could want you to feel like you care about him. he could want to know if you still care about him at all. Too many maybes. The pictures that he sends of you does indicate that he still thinks about you and reminisces of the time that you two spent together for sure, but beyond that I can't begin to guess. The only way to find out would be to ask him, but again - unless you REALLY think that you can forgive him and may want him back in your life in any regard, you're probably best off with the NC.
Best of luck in love and life.
; )
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A
female
reader, Taylor_1118 +, writes (24 February 2011):
this happend to me nad it did not end well. My ex would text me and still did for like 2years even after I told him I was engaged. every few months he would send me a text or call to see how I was doing. During th e first year I responded and it went very wrong I fell back into a realtionship with him except we weren"t exclusive so it basically meant he could do whatever he wanted. I ended up hirt and felt worse than the first time. So i suggest you let it be as hard as it is. Once he sees you are truly gone it will bother him for ever and you can be happy again someday with some one who will not leave you for another woman. I've been there. and My ex still texts and calls every few months. we were married 5 years. He had an affair for 4 1/2. Move on as best you can, you'll be happier trust me. If you ever end up back with him you will never forget what he did. It will haunt you and it will cause a fight and a bad realtionship nad if he was already cheating there was obviously problems already. Its hard I know but you can do it. I still think about him from time to time I did love him so much but I'm happier now. It still bothers me but I just do the best I can.
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A
male
reader, firstlovelastlove  +, writes (24 February 2011):
 I had a similar situation with a woman who blew it once and then again and I never looked back. A lot of long letters that I never returned. This was in 1997 and was the result of "the grass not as green as [s]he thought it would be".
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2011): It seems to me like he wants to keep his options open. My ex boyfriend strung me and the girl he was cheating with along for several months while he tried to figure out which one of us he wanted. He may have gone with her because she gave him an ultimatum, but he still hasn't decided who he would rather be with permanently. You don't need to be the back-up plan in case things don't work out with her. Block his number and find someone who will treat you better.
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A
female
reader, milburn03111965 +, writes (24 February 2011):
I have had a similar situation, whereas I was dating somebody, and then we were not really dating anymore, but he was still calling me and texting me daily, and I was doing the same thing for him, under the guise of being "friends". He told me that he had moved on and found somebody new, but the texting and calling and othe forms of communication still continued on his end, even to the point of a Christmas gift purchase before I cut him off cold turkey. I think it is a man's fragile ego that drives them to do the dumb things that they do, and I think it is a woman's caring nature to let them, thinking that the men do not really mean what they are saying, and that the men are "confused" and really want them. The problem is, this man you are talking about is trying to hold a door open that you can easily open and close for yourself. You are an adult and you have a choice in the matter.So I say that to say, if you do not want this man anymore, CLOSE THE DOOR. Change your phone number if you have to. But MAKE SURE, since he left you to be with somebody else, that the DOOR IS CLOSED, and DONT OPEN IT AGAIN, NOT EVEN IN CASE OF FIRE. That is the only way, since this man apparently does not know how to let to and move on. If you don't you will be accused of holding on, and it is not you, IT IS HIM. He moved out of the house with you, to be with her. So let him enjoy himself and you put you pretty clothes on, take yourself a Trip, and forget he ever existed. Ignore him if you ever see him. If you have children with this retard, let them have a relationship with their father, but if you don't have any other ties, let that fool go, dont even acknowledge his presence if you see him.Thats my two cents...
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