A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Okay So, Firstly it's been a long time since I asked question's using this website. I was 15/16 when I used it, I am now 18. I started thinking that if I can't deal with relationship problems myself and confront things with myself and my partners/friends etc... then that doesn't seem like I'm being a very strong or confident person and could reflect on my relationships too if I start doubting myself... if you know what I'm getting at! I was getting really good of taking control of my own relationships, if you will. However, sometimes it's nice to get a bit of feedback and I just want to see what people think of my current problem (I guess this makes me weak again! :( )Right this has been eating away at me for a little while now, I've been with my current boyfriend 15 months, it's the longest I've been in a relationship and I have grown to form a special bond with him, since we both lost or virginity to each other. Before I met him, I had a pretty uppy downy typical teenage girl drama going on! (haha) It started off with this one boy I had a crush on and we ended up "going out with each other" but nothing much happened as you can imagine, we were 14 I think. That didnt last very long, but then we did "go out" again or a tiny amount of time, before deciding to stay friends. Lets call him Jake for now (I wont use real names for obvious reasons) but after that I met someone else that I had a crush on (i am so sorry if this gets confusing) I went out with him... a load of times! We kept breaking up and getting back together, we must have been together 5 times or something! One of the times we went out was quite long (for me at the time) which was around 3 months I think. If you add all of them together though it was obviously a bit longer. But we were young and it didn't work out, he kissed another girl and for a while we didn't speak. But we are friends now. But that's not very important now, i thought I should mention it.I have grown to have a good friendship with "jake" until recently, we don't speak as much, but we do talk occasionally and he's a fantastic friend. Just before I met my current boyfriend, I had started to get feelings for "jake" again. Different to before, but I couldn't act on them, not after everything, as I had hurt him when we were kids and he had also been out with my best friend just after! (confusing I know) So I decided to leave it, and maybe pursue it when I was older and had a chance to think about my feelings longer. For a while I kinda forgot about "jake" but not really. Recently hes been on my mind alot. But me and my boyfriend have had alot more arguments than usual recently, I'm not saying we are going to break up though!Is this normal?Or is it maybe because of the arguments that I'm thinking about my Ex boyfriend? I don't want to seem unfaithful to my boyfriend, just having feelings for someone else makes me feel that way! Sorry and thanks for reading
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female
reader, honey_1234  +, writes (27 April 2010):
 I think its kind of normal to have feelings towards another male and you are right it is most likely because of your arguments with your current bf and you shouldn't feel unfaithful at all every woman has feelings for another man at some point who doesnt well as I like to say attraction from time to time just brush it off and try to ignore it.
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