A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My fiance is an alchoholic, and a recovering crack addict. When he drinks he is painfully verbally abusive. I let it go for about a year because i felt he was just relapsing from not using anymore. It's been almost two years now, and although he'll go thru a week or two at a time not drinking, he always seems to start back up again...and he always has some excuse, stress, back hurts, etc. It's not that he just calls me a whore, but he says the most personal and hurtful things i could never even say to my worst enemy, it literally puts me in shock for a good day or two. I know everyone says he doesen't mean it, he's just drunk, that still doesen't make it right. He has even stooped so low to go through my phone and find my friends numbers, and some of them my ex b/f's number(we are still friends)and say bad things about me, or try to manipulate them into saying something horrible about me, only to throw it in my face when he gets drunk. He found out my password on FaceBook and changed all my personal settings, and had the audacity to block some of my guy friends. He has done this all when he is drunk. I don't know what to do...i really don't have anywhere to go, and with the economy the way it is i haven't found a job yet. I keep praying to win the lottery but we all know the odds of that. Is there a place for women like me to go and start again ? somewhere safe ? Thanks
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male
reader, dirtball +, writes (1 March 2011):
 There are places you can go, however they typically cater more toward the physically abused. While what he is doing is absolutely abuse, you may not find quite as much help as if he had actually hit you. You do need to get out of there. A good place to start is PAVE (http://www.pavingtheway.net/). They help women escape abusive environments every day.
Best of luck breaking free!
A
female
reader, melanie01  +, writes (1 March 2011):
 Yes there are shelters all across America. The number for the National Domestic Violence help line is 1-800-799-7233. They will tell you the closest shelter to you. Plus offer emotional support. This isn't a situation you need to be in. Get out of there as soon as you can.
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