A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Silly question but do some people just not like texting? I was/am seeing this boy. have been since end of july. When I see him hes lovely! We get on great, he shows me a lot of attention and clearly likes me and enjoys spending time with me. I'm quite a texty person, I'm always texting someone or other. When we first got together I used to think something was off as when texting he would take ages to respond or just answer my texts and would very rarely initiate conversation. But when I saw him he was great so I thought ah hes just not a big texter. I'm finishing my studies and have a lottt of work to do. So I've said to him 2 weeks back that I wouldn't be able to see him for a few weeks till it was sorted. He said that was fine. I decided not to text him and see how long it would take for him to get in touch. He hadn't! Until today. But I text him as I got a job. He read it immediately (has read receipts) but took 2 hours to text back and when he did just said 'That's great, where at?x' I replied telling him were and again he read it and immediately yet hasn't responded, that was 7 hours ago so I doubt I'm going to get a response now. Surely it wouldn't hurt him to drop me a text every now and then. Do you think he's just not that interested in me?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (14 November 2013):
my husband hates texting and he carries an old flip phone by choice... texting is really a pain for him. no QWERTY keyboard.
I myself only use texting for logistic types of conversations. "running late" "meet you on the left side" "what time is dinner?" kinds of things. I have been known to text my son just to say HI but he's a horrible texter... we use email a lot however.
IN fact, my husband and I live in the same house and use a LOT of email to communicate. But when we were not living together there were many PHONE CALLS.
Is there a reason you two don't CALL each other?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 November 2013): Funny, I am in a similar situation. I've been gone in these dates with this amazing guy but he doesn't text much. I found it kind of strange at first; but to be quite honest texting can be so deceiving and people get lost in translation all the time. Better to have a face to face conversation. I have to get used to the not texting much with this guy.
If you have a great conversation and you feel great with this guy face to face then trust your gut instincts and go with the flow. Don't read too much into the texting, he has already proven to you that he is not a big texter. Enjoy yourself with him. The way I see it is; it's better to have a connection in person than via text. A lot of people have connections via text but many times there is no connection when they meet in person. You two passed the hardest test.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (10 November 2013):
I RARELY text. If my husband sends me a short text - like be home in 30 min. or forgot the milk - I "might" text back a OK, see you in 30 or I'll grab a gallon.
I do NOT UNDER ANY circumstances have long or "deep" conversations over text. I do those either while talking on the phone or face to face.
My nieces ( 23-27) will sit NEXT to each other on the couch and freaking text each other. Even fight via text. It's ridiculous lol but supposedly "normal" for that age group. Kind of sad because they can't spell for crap and they think "living" on Facebook is the norm.
In my opinion.. IF you want to have a CONVERSATION then CALL and TALK.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2013): I hate texting!!! I always call instead.
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A
female
reader, It'sgoodtotalk +, writes (9 November 2013):
If you like him just accept him as he is. he isn't a great texter. He clearly prefers face to face contact and giving people his attention. He said 'where?' in his text so showed interest and willing to continue the conversation so relax and enjoy.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (8 November 2013):
Literally every single person in the world loves texting.
Despite this he may be busy or preoccupied when you text so maybe he doesn't want to start a conversation.
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A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (8 November 2013):
Texting is quite possibly the poorest method of communication ever devised by men. It rates right in there with jungle drums and smoke signals. It never ceases to amaze me how addicted to texting people get when it is such an unsatisfactory form of communication. (rant over)
O K so you know his history with texting. You know he prefers face to face communication. And still you set up this silly test. I'm here to tell you that he passed the test. His communication pattern didn't change. He still doesn't initiate conversations and he still takes a long time to reply.
Let's look at the test from his point of view. You told him that you wouldn't be in touch for a few weeks. Then you changed your communication pattern. You stopped texting him. He is probably wondering if you are not that interested in him. After all you cut him off from his preferred mode of communication. I find it ironic in a kind of scarey way that you tell him you will be out of communication for a few weeks then ask "Surely it wouldn't hurt him to drop me a text every now and then". For Pete's sake he's doing what you told him to do. Granted, a smarter guy would have called you and set up a celebration date. But that wasn't your question. Your real question is can you live with a boyfriend who doesn't communicate the way you want him to? That is a serious question that this has brought to light.
FA
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2013): Not necessarily, some people really aren't big texters. At our age (late 20s) it can go either way...it's not like everyone in our age bracket grew up with their faces glued to their phones like folks in their younger 20s, so it's quite possible he thinks that text is a poor way to communicate -- if he can't see you in person, he'll wait till he can. My man, who is 35, was a big texter in the first month or two of our relationship, and then it dropped off precipitously, enough to worry me. He was reverting to his natural non-texting state, and aside from brief bursts of conversation (I work in an environment where I only get cell phone access on a 30-minute lunch, and he knows this and replies to any lunch texts immediately), he doesn't really text at all. Yet he's totally into me. I wouldn't worry yet. There's a possibility it means that he's not that into you, but it's by no means definite, and could mean many other things.
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A
female
reader, banditsmom1124 +, writes (8 November 2013):
i personally hate to text! sometimes ill do voice text but thats annoying too. but if im at a computer ill chat for hours on end.
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